Cat of the Zodiac, Kyou Sohma
by angelicattie
Summary: Angst, angst. Kyou has a bad dream . . . make that a few bad dreams. Kyou remembers a sercret from his childhood that changes his relationship with Yuki. Employing the help of Kagura, Yuki, and Tohru, Kyou embarks on a journey to cure the Sohma Curse. Y/K
1. Prologue

Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
Prologue; Kyou's Dream  
  
Cold . . . cold hands , on my back, on my spine, five ice digits on each hand, cool as pebbles resting under the rushing water of a stream. One traces my spine, the wandering finger travels a slow and deliberate path, led by the delicate touch of the knuckles. The touch is as gentle and careful as that of a sculptor. The other hand runs up my back, pausing at the shoulder, massaging with gentle pressure. The hands hover over my skin gently massaging and caressing. The hands radiate a strange energy, it's very strong, but the touch is too light to feel the emotion behind it.  
  
The room is cool, I feel it all over me, I am unclothed. I should be shocked that I am in such a vulnerable position or terribly afraid of what could happen to me, but I am not afraid. I should be feeling intense fear, but that is not what I feel . . . I feel, what is it? Curiosity, curiosity is what keeps me from screaming or running, curiosity is what leaves me relaxed even though I have no idea where I am, I feel a twinge of uncertainty, but I am overwhelmed by calm. There is a certain familiarity to this situation that quiets the fear and leaves only anticipation.  
  
The room is dark, but the darkness is soothing, enveloping like a blanket. Yes, it's cool, but it is a welcome coolness, like plunging into the lake on a hot day. Yet I don't know that I am in a room, safe, it is simply my own sense of security that lets me believe, lets me trust, gives me faith. The figure is coming closer now, I feel the breath on my neck, only slightly warmer than the hands. The hands are on my shoulders now, clutching with some force. Cloth sweeps over my backside, the figure is over me now , I feel the breath on my earlobe.   
  
"You are mine."  
  
The voice pierces the silence.  
  
The fingers are clutching more tightly, possessively, at my shoulders.  
  
"You are the ugliest thing I have ever seen."  
  
Wait . . . I know this voice . . . I know this voice, why is the room getting colder, icier now? Why am I afraid?  
  
" And the stench, it stinks like something dead and rotting ."  
  
No, it can't be . . . it's Akito.  
  
"No! No! Leave me alone! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt us, it's not my fault, I can't, I can't help being the cat!"  
  
Kyou woke up screaming.


	2. Chapter 1 Bad Dreams and Sad Memories

  
Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.  
Chapter One; Bad Dreams and Sad Memories  
  
This was the seventh dream, all of them ending with Kyou's screams, all of them about Akito. Kyou couldn't help but shiver at the thought of him alone. Two weeks, it had been two weeks since Kazuma's visit , since Tohru learned the secret, since Tohru visited Akito. At first that's what the dreams were about, Kyou had been worried about about what happened to Tohru during the visit since he hadn't witnessed what had gone on. Akito would never allow Kyou to see him, at least, not to the knowledge of the rest of the family. The dreams were images of Akito with the various implements of torture he possessed, standing menacingly over Tohru. In the first dreams she screamed, called out to Kyou, called for Yuki and Shigure. In the third dream she stopped screaming and now just stood, eyes wide, paralyzed with fear. Then in the fourth dream she was bound and gagged, and in the fifth, she was gone. In every dream Kyou started out comfortable, at peace, and at the end completely shocked by a vision of Akito, screaming incoherently.  
  
Kyou had retreated to the roof, his sanctuary, after this dream as he always did, it was just easier this way. Sure, it wasn't the right way to cure a chronic bad dream, but Kyou wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. If he told someone, he would have tell the whole story, why he was so afraid of Akito when he had teased Yuki about his fear , why Akito would ever be concerned with Kyou when he had never shown any interest in him before? It was a secret Kyou had repressed since he met Kazuma.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Kyou, it's time to go.  
  
What . . . huh?  
  
Kyou, it's time to see Akito.  
  
Why mommy?  
  
You have to. Kyou, whatever you hear, whatever he tells you, whatever he does to to you, forget it.  
  
Why mommy?  
  
Because I want no bad memories for you, because I love you .  
  
Mommy, it's dark outside.  
  
Shh . . . someone will hear you.  
  
The rain falling that night held the same ice coldness that plagued Kyou's dreams. Kyou and his mother approached the main house, where Akito lived.  
  
Take the bracelet off him.  
  
  
  
Mommy, you said not to . . .   
  
  
  
She approached her son slowly, grabbed the beads from his wrist, and quickly turned her head, averting her eyes from the transformation of her cursed son.  
  
So this is the true form of the cat. Its not as frightening as I had expected. The rumors give it far too much credit.  
  
It's ugly, perhaps the ugliest thing I have ever seen.  
  
And the stench, it stinks like something dead and rotting.  
  
Even as a child Kyou felt intense self-loathing when he was in this state. The transformation itself was painful, it felt as though his skin was stretching, to accommodate new and larger bones and muscles. His skin tingled with irritation, like a strange and corrosive ointment soaking his skin, burning the hairs from his flesh and turning his skin the sickly color of death and shadow. The large purple eyes watered with pain, feeling struck by pins. His smell repulsive even to himself.  
  
It also hurt intensely to see his mother turn from him with fear, when it was during these times that he needed someone the most. He knew it was selfish to want her to touch him or hold him, but he wished that she would at least acknowledge that he was still her son, that **inside** he was still her son, an d she was his mother.  
  
All these horrible feelings were amplified by Akito's presence. He stood there, making harsh remarks, staring at Kyou like he was a specimen, looking straight through him as though he knew no better, as though he didn't know that there was a real human soul inside.  
  
  
Put the bracelet back on, and leave us.  
  
Kyou's mother did so quietly, and left her one and only son in the hands of Akito.  
  
I should help purge you of true form . . .   
  
First we'll get rid of the stench.  
  
But Akito, I'm not in my cursed form, I don't smell anymore.  
  
Akito swiftly turned to Kyou and slapped him. Akito stared directly at Kyou, his eyes flashed with anger.  
  
I would have thought that spineless mother of yours had taught you some manners. You **never** argue with me. Any response will be directly requested and answered with a   
  
Yes, I think you should start with a bath.  
  
Akito led Kyou to the bathroom. The tub was filled about five inches deep.  
  
Stand there. Don't move.  
  
Kyou did as told, tears already falling.  
  
Aww. I thought the little cat was tougher than that.  
  
Akito wiped a tear from Kyou's cheek with a surprising delicacy.  
  
I am tough. Kyou whispered. His hands clenched into fists.  
  
What did I tell you about speaking to me? How quickly the kitten forgets.  
  
Akito grabbed Kyou's fists and dug his nails into the palms, drawing blood.  
  
If you defy me again I'll have to get rough.  
  
Akito gently pulled Kyou's shirt from his pants, getting a hold on the hem before jerking it over Kyou's head. Akito dealt with Kyou's pants similarly, leaving Kyou nude. Kyou's tears were now flowing rapidly and he was sniffing deeply despite trying to hide how upset he was.  
  
Get in the bath, lay down, don't move, I'll be able to hear the splashes if you do.  
  
It was just about enough water to cover Kyou's body, but not enough to cover his face, allowing him to breathe. The water surrounding him chilled his body, made his flesh numb with cold, Akito didn't return for what seemed like hours. Kyou's mind spun, imagining what Akito would do to him, before the mundaneness of the situation and lack of stimulation caused him to hallucinate, he imagined shadows, ghastly figures approaching to do him some unspeakable harm.  
  
Kyou returned to reality when he heard the true sound of Akito's footsteps on the tile floor.  
  
Get out of there.  
  
There was a great splashing of water when Kyou stood, soon dying and leaving only silence in the house.  
  
Yes, this is suitable. Kyou, you are now clean.  
  
Oh, but the bath has left you rather cold, I know something that will get your blood flowing again.  
  
Akito handed Kyou a cup. It was tea, but it had an odd smell to it.  
  
Drink it. Follow me.  
  
It took several moments for Kyou's mind to register what had been said, and longer for his numb body to react.  
  
Akito now took Kyou to to another part of the house, a dark room, Kyous steps did not regulate, something in the drink Akito gave him kept him in a dreamlike state, numb and defenseless.  
  
After that Kyou slipped in and out of consciousness while Akito bound his limbs and examined his entire body, with only mild protest from Kyou, he was unable to think clearly.   
  
Kyou's eyes shot open when he awoke to an intense pain. The first pain was Akito's length inside him, the second, a knife pressing into his back. Akito whispered into his ear,  
  
You will never be a member of the zodiac, you will never be cured, but you are a Sohma, and therefore one of my own, I will give you a mark so that you won't forget.  
  
No! No! It hurts! Stop Akito, stop! I can't help being the cat, please, stop punishing me.  
  
And then reality faded back into a blur while Kyou's mind was lost in the pain and his screams.  
  
The last thing Akito said was  
  
You are mine. No one else will know about this.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
(Kyou's POV)  
  
I had forgotten. Mom told me to forget. Akito said that no one else would know. I wanted to forget, I already had to deal with being the cat, no one needed to know that for one night I had been his little toy. i was so happy when I met Kazuma, that I put what had happened with my mother and Akito behind me, I was so content, overjoyed, he was the first person who really loved me. And Kagura, she's insane, but she gave me hope, hope that I could be seen as Kyou the cat, a member of the zodiac, not as the monster hiding in the body of a human. With the love of the two of them, Kazuma and Kagura, it was so easy to forget. There was only one thing I had remembered,You will never be a member of the zodiac. It haunted me, welled up anger inside me, drove me to hate the rat, giving me the idiotic notion that beating Yuki would solve all my problems. I am such a fool. I realized when I started living at Shigure's house how wrong I had been, that the zodiac members did have respect for me, they didn't whisper behind my back or ignore me like those old women at the compound, but I continued to believe that beating Yuki would cure me, make me accepted by everyone.  
  
When Kazuma came to Shigure's house, when he took the beads, I thought my life was over, I thought that they wouldn't be able to look me in the eye anymore, I thought I would have to leave Shigure's house, back to seclusion, isolation. I was afraid that Tohru would choose to forget. And when that sensation came back, the pain of the transformation, the memories came back. My mother, Akito, all the pain came rushing back. It hurt so much. And then . . . and then they were there, Yuki and Tohru. But I didn't want, I didn't want their pity . . . I didn't want Tohru to be in the same pain that my mother, and Momiji's and Kana had gone through. But then . . . Yuki and Tohru, they touched me, held me, the disgusting, horrible monster, like my mother had never been able to. And the rain stopped, and the clouds cleared, and I felt all this love and relief and pure happiness surge through me, and I was back, I was human again, Yuki and Tohru stayed with me through the transformation, the storm. Then Tohru pledged that the three of us, we would stay together forever.   
  
At the time I thought I could be content.  
  
The dreams were insistent, they told me that the acceptance of my true form was only the beginning.  
  
I'm going to find a cure for the curse, I'm starting as soon as possible.   
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 2 The Talk With Tohru

  
Disclaimer; I don't own Fruits Basket  
  
A/N; thanks xxkurenaixx(), Raven's light, and pluto's kiss for the reviews  
  
(Kyou's thoughts are italicized)  
  
Kyou felt some relief from his solemn meditation on the roof, but conflict still bubbled inside him. The sun had been up for about two hours now, so Kyou headed into the house.  
  
The other members of the household had noticed Kyou's odd behavior. At first they thought that Kyou's behavior had just been recovery from all that had happened during Kazuma's visit, but that didn't explain why Kyou had acted normally the day after or why it seemed that he was getting worse. They were often awoken by Kyou's screams, signaling another nightmare, the nightmares were more frequent now, they had happened every night since wednesday. A sort of tension hung around the house. Shigure, for once, thought it was best to keep his rather large mouth shut . Tohru was straining to keep from saying something, but she had promised not to make a big deal about their quiet moods, she simply continued to assure herself that Kyou would come when he was ready to talk. At first Yuki ignored it, being cursed as well he knew that it was important t o have time to yourself, but as time went on it looked like Kyou was taking more time to himself than was healthy and Yuki was starting to become concerned. He was beginning to wonder if he should approach Kyou himself if Kyou wasn't going to talk on his own.  
  
At breakfast they sat in silence, as they had become accustomed to. Shigure soon retreated to his study, things had become too dull around the house, so he immersed himself in his writing, but without the wonderful vibes, as Hanajima had called them, emanating from Kyou and Yuki, Shigure's muse' had left him. Yuki left for his secret base', leaving Kyou and Tohru alone.  
  
Tohru rose from the table, beginning to put the breakfast dishes away.  
  
I think I'm ready to talk. I mean . . . if you don't mind.  
  
Of course I don't mind Kyou! Whenever you need to talk I'm here. It's important to let someone know how you feel. We've all been so worried about you; Shigure, Yuki, and I, not that Yuki said it aloud, but I can tell, he's been more quiet than usual.  
  
Yeah. Umm . . . I don't think that rat would ever be losing sleep or anything like that over me. Kyou said with a humorless chuckle. I still don't think that I'm ready to tell yet , but if you guys really are worried about me I guess I should spill my guts and stop being selfish .   
  
It's not selfish to want to keep your troubles to yourself, but it's healthier to tell someone, to share the burden, it may be difficult to carry, but it's easier when you have some help, and did you ever consider that sharing your troubles can bring you closer to the ones you care about.  
  
You're right Tohru.  
  
Wait in my room for me, I'll be up there as soon as I clean up, then I can give you my full attention.  
  
Kyou headed upstairs and mumbled to himself, Ever the perfect housekeeper.  
  
Tohru came to the room shortly after. Kyou was lying on the floor with his hands behind his head in a very catlike position, as was everything he did, but he was mildly tense, his restlessness could be seen in his eyes which continually darted around the room. Tohru sat at his side.  
  
Are you ready? Tell me what the nightmares are about.  
  
They aren't really nightmares, they're sort of memories now . . . the first ones weren't memories though, they were about you, . . . I didn't know exactly what had happened, the day you visited Akito so in my dreams the worst had happened, and I wasn't able to protect you. I know that Shigure, Hatori, and even that damned Yuki would protect you but they were all under Akito's thumb, weak . . . , unlike me . . . , or so I thought.  
  
Kyou, what do you mean?  
  
I mean, he owns me too! Just as much as as he owns all the others! I thought I was free, not being a part of the zodiac, I thought that I wouldn't be hurt by Akito until I was part of the zodiac and I thought by then that I would have the strength to handle it. I never realized that Akito already had complete control over me, and I was so weak that he only needed to see me once to set and maintain control. You're ugly' You stink' Your spineless mother' You'll never be a member of the zodiac.' I've been such an idiot.  
  
Kyou, I don't understand.  
  
When you saw my transformation, that sort of thing doesn't happen often. The only times I'm weak enough to transform into that other creature is when we have rainy weather, and I'm extra careful about the beads during those times, so the last time I transformed , that was also on purpose. When I transformed it triggered my memory, the time I had transformed before was when my mother took me to Akito.  
  
Kyou removed his shirt and turned so that his back faced Tohru. Tohru saw the scar, on Kyou's back across the shoulder blade was clearly scarred into the skin AKITO.  
  
It's not one of things you normally notice, you know, and I guess it had healed , but when I went through the transformation the skin broke.  
  
Tohru stared at the marks in disbelief.  
  
But Kyou, how did this happen? When did Akito do this? Why would he do this? I mean, even when Mom and Uo were in the gang, they never had to carry marks like this, not like a brand, not someone else's name.  
  
Yeah, well I guess this family is more fucked up than you thought.  
  
Oh Kyou. Tohru gasped.  
  
Akito did a lot of things to me, unspeakable things, that night when I transformed, I had only remembered what he had said to me, but after the dreams everything came back to me, all the pain, how he had tortured me, and how my mother had forsaken me. I've realized the truth now, despite how strong I try to be, I'm scared, scared of Akito, scared of the curse.  
  
It's alright to be scared and frightened Kyou. Anyone whose gone through so much deserves a chance to voice their feelings freely.  
  
I'm tired of being angry, I've found a way to forget the pain, ignore the past. Tohru, I have to find a cure, not just for my curse, but for the zodiac, to cure whole family. So no one will have to be pushed around, or have their lives ruined by Akito or the one who will come after him. So that brat Hiro can tell Kisa he loves her without one of them being beaten up. So that no one will end up like Hatori, carrying the memories of someone he loves who can't remember him. So that no one will have to go through what we did, so they will never fear their mothers rejecting them.  
  
So no one will ever choose to forget.  
  
Tohru, I want you to come with me. You, Yuki, and Kagura, we'll find the cure together. It's time that the pain ended.  
  
And I'll have to talk to Akito, I'm afraid, but I'll need to confront him, at least to tell him, to stand up for myself. Even if I'm not allowed near him, even if he doesn't want to see me, even he he won't consent to my plan. You're so brave Tohru, not like me, not weak or afraid, but maybe I can try to be strong for myself now.  
  
  
Tohru smiled warmly at Kyou.  
She gently took his hand and in the most innocent and childlike gesture she held it to her heart and kissed his cheek.  
  
Kyou I am so proud of you, You have found what you can do, what you want to do, to give your life meaning, to help those you care about. And of course I'll help you, if we can wait for me to fulfill my promise to mom.  
  
Really? You will?  
  
  
  
Then I'll have it all planned! We'll start when we graduate next spring.  
  
But Kyou, what you said, about not choosing to forget, well, you shouldn't forget either. I know that your memories of Akito hurt you, but you should work through the pain. You should talk with Yuki, you two don't get along that well, and it may not be the most common way to start a friendship, but I think it will help both of you. Since you're not comfortable telling me everything, maybe it will be easier with someone who has been through a similar experience, maybe you two can form a bond.  
  
Kyou's eyes cast downward.  
I don't know, it took a lot of courage, just to tell you this much. I don't know if I could tell him, he infuriates me so much, and I've been so insensitive about his fear of Akito.  
  
Well, now is your chance to apologize. Think about it, at least try, it can only do the both of you good.  
  
I guess I can try, if you say so, I trust you Tohru. I hope you know how much you mean to me, to all of us.  
  
Thank you.  
  
_Wow. Sugoi. Soo much relief. I could cry. Scratch that. I could pummel something to death and then dance triumphantly, preferably Akito. So my target's changed, I'm still as violent as ever.  
  
Ah. Half the battle is over!  
  
Now, concerning my former nemesis . . . umm . . . what did Tohru_ _ask me to do_ _again? O.K. even I'm not that stupid. I still don't know, I think Tohru is right, but it's Yuki, the one I hated, . . . (the one who held me when i needed it most). Well if for no other reason than to appease Tohru I'll talk to him.  
  
But first, lunch._  
  
Kyou was on the roof again, emotionally preparing to talk to Yuki, when he smelled Tohru's cooking.  
  
_Salmon **and **Cod, sometimes I could marry that girl._  
  
Kyou came into the house.  
  
Tohru, overjoyed at Kyou's admission of his secret, was preparing a feast of Kyou's favorite foods. Shigure and Yuki came into the dining room, delighted to see Tohru's smiling face, which had been so scarce lately.  
  
Our little flower is smiling again, the snow has melted, the clouds have cleared, peace is restored once more, clearing the dank air of the musty atmosphere. . .  
  
Stop your damn poetic talk.  
  
So what happened, Tohru, to save my house from depression and despair, why is there now an air of happiness?  
  
I think it's best that Kyou tell you his plan.  
  
_And sometimes I could wring her neck_  
  
It's none of your business, but I'm going to find a cure for the Sohma curse.  
  
Shigure began chuckling to himself (it lasted about five minutes).  
  
In all seriousness Kyou, it's a nice goal, but I think that's impossible.  
  
Nonsense, Kyou can do it, like my motto says never give up'  
  
I think it's a good idea. Yuki said nonchalantly.  
  
Really? I'm glad you think so, because Kyou wants to ask for your help.  
  
_ Must. Resist. Urge. To. Wring. Neck.  
_  
A vein throbbed on Kyou's head as he ground his teeth.  
  
Yuki's jaw dropped.  
  
I didn't want to admit it, but Tohru's right. Anyone who can beat me every time we fight is worth having on my journey, would you . . . come . . . along?'  
  
Yuki's mouth still hung open.  
  
Close your mouth kuso nezumi, you're catching flies.  
  
Yuki closed his mouth.  
  
So will you or won't you. I can't waste my whole day sitting here waiting for you  
  
. . .  
  
umm . . . Yes?  
  
It was Kyou's turn to be shocked. The two exchanged blank expressions.  
  
really? . . . umm . . . O.K. . . . thank you?  
  
_Was I just dreaming or did Yuki say yes? Did I hear that right? Did he really just agree to help me? I guess he doesn't hate me as much as I thought. Maybe it won't be so hard to talk to him after all, just maybe.  
  
  
  
  
  
_A/N; Sorry that this chapter is so shonen-ai-less, stick with me, it's about to get good. Till next time, minna-san.  



	4. Chapter 3 The Talk With Yuki

  
Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
A/N; Thanks for the reviews Raven's Light.  
  
Chapter 3; The Talk With Yuki  
  
*knock, knock*  
  
The door opened.   
  
Let me in kuso nezumi.  
  
  
  
I need to talk to you.  
  
About what happened at dinner?  
  
Sorta, not exactly, it's kinda hard to say, it's . . . uh . . . embarrassing. First I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the hard times gave you, for all the arguing, for the fighting, and I'm especially sorry for teasing you about Akito.  
  
Yuki stared at Kyou with sort of a confused look on his face.  
  
What brought about this?  
  
Could you unbutton your shirt a bit, let me se your back.  
  
  
  
I'll tell you in a second.  
  
This better not be a trap, or some kind of game.  
  
Just do it.  
  
Yuki hesitantly unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall back over his shoulders, the sleeves falling past his elbows, revealing his upper back.   
**_  
_**To Kyou's dismay, his back was smooth, unmarked. Kyou's eyes roamed frantically over the pale skin, looking for the scar. There was none.  
  
Kyou turned away, confused, he was sure that Yuki would have one, the mark, the same mark that Akito had given him.   
  
Meanwhile Yuki had put his shirt back on.  
  
So what were you looking for baka neko?  
  
Nothing. Forget it.  
  
You've been moping around the house, depressed, for the past two weeks, today you finally cheer up after talking with Tohru about something, then you ask me to help you find a cure for the curse, and now you've come to my room saying you need to talk to me, asked to see my back and you won't tell me why! Something has happened, tell me what it is.  
  
It's . . . it's not important anymore.  
  
Do I need to beat it out of you?  
  
Kyou sighed. He removed his shirt. I was looking for this mark.  
  
Yuki was speechless.  
  
I just assumed you had one too.  
  
Kyou, how? When?  
  
One night when I was little, real little, before I started living with Kazuma. I just thought that since you were so afraid of Akito, that since you were kept near him, the same thing had happened to you.  
  
It did.  
  
  
  
I do have one, a scar.   
  
Yuki turned to face away from Kyou and lifted the edge of his shirt. There, on the small of his back, just above the waist of his pants, AKITO had been carved into the skin, similarly as it had been written on Kyou.   
  
If yours happened when you were younger, why is it healing again? There's a scab.  
  
It opened again during my transformation. Why is yours so deep?  
  
Each time it healed Akito would cut it open again. Why did you say those things about me using Shigure to hide from Akito?  
  
The truth. I was mean, and stupid, and I hadn't remembered that it had happened to me. It wasn't until Kazuma made me transform that I remembered.  
  
I don't understand.  
  
The last time I transformed was when my mother took me to see Akito. After that night I made myself forget what had happened with Akito, but when I transformed I remembered how it had felt the first time and I remembered what Akito had done to me.  
  
. . .  
  
I was so stupid. For so long I was jealous of you being a part of the zodiac, of everyone being so amazed and impressed by the rat. I thought you had something I didn't and I wanted so badly to be you for it. I wanted to be the one who was looked up to and put on a pedestal, I was so stupid, I even wanted the same attention you were given by Akito . .   
  
And how does it feel now that you realize you had it?  
  
_but also foolishly good, because I found out I had some of what I envied, I found out I was more like you.  
  
_You never realized how good you had it, having forgotten. I always admired how you fit in, how you could be so comfortable and open with normal people and how I could only ever become close to other cursed Sohma, and even then I couldn't open up completely. I was jealous that you cold live happily while night after night I dreamt of him. Nightmares of him on me, in me, controlling me, memories of all the days I was locked in that room, I wanted to forget, I wanted to be outcaste like you, so that he would never want to touch me again.  
  
I guess we were more alike than we thought.  
  
I guess so.  
  
There were more questions to be asked, but for the moment the two had come to an understanding.  
  
_Maybe Tohru was right, maybe talking to each other can bring us closer together.  
  
_For the first time in four days Kyou slept soundly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N; Too cute Yuki and Kyou taking off their shirts ,sharing scars . . .(aww)  
Actually I hope it's not **that **cute, stay tuned, the next chapter is going to be** action' **packed. Till next time minna-san.


	5. Chapter 4 Can I Sleep with You Tonight?

  
Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket   
  
Chapter 4; Can't Sleep  
  
Over the next month Kyou busied himself with his plan. Every day after school Kyou would spend hours in the library: researching potential sites to find the cure, planning travel routes, hotels, planes, trains, and preparing a budget. He also got a job, at first Kyou had hoped to work at Kazuma's dojo, but the commute was too far to go every day; instead he got a job at a restaurant, close to school, as a busboy. Working at a restaurant he had very late hours, usually his work shift would end past midnight, much later than Tohru's shifts. Kyou's preoccupation left Shigure's house calm and tranquil, and everyone there dead bored.  
  
One night Kyou came home from work particularly late, around 1:30 am. After a full day of school, research, and work, he was so tired he just crashed on the couch,* he was so exhausted he couldn't even make it up to his room.  
  
Kyou quickly fell asleep.  
  
Then there it was again, the feeling of the pleasure giving, ice cold fingers.  
  
So you think this little plan of yours will work. Stop fooling yourself, you're not doing this for the good of the family. You think you can save them from the curse? You only want the cure for yourself, so that you won't have to deal with the monster inside you, so that you won't have to obey me anymore. How dare you tell Yuki and that bitch Tohru.  
  
The dream hand grabbed Kyou's hair and yanked his head back.  
  
I told you not to tell anyone! How dare you disobey me! I own you! You will never escape the curse, you will never escape ME!  
  
Kyou saw Akito's face screaming at him, the bright eyes penetrating him.  
  
Then Kyou awoke on the cold floor, shivering.  
  
_Why can't I stop thinking of him? I m so afraid, he keeps haunting me.  
  
_He couldn't shake the image of Akito's face in his head, and the voice, his scolding screams, they kept repeating over and over again.  
  
Kyou's body went into auto-drive, and before he knew where his feet were taking him he was on the roof.  
  
The roof, his old sanctuary, gave him no comfort. The roof, where he could always go to calm himself, no longer served it's purpose, it was lonely and meaningless. After having talked to Yuki and Tohru he knew there was something better, a stronger feeling of relief, he was dependent on it now, and he could not deny himself.  
  
Kyou entered Yuki's window, knowing full well that there was a strong possibility of Yuki throwing him out, but the possibility that being with Yuki, that being near him, could make the image of Akito and the voice in his head disappear weighed out the fear of being thrown out. Desperate for comfort Kyou was drawn to Yuki like a magnet, he looked glowing and saint like in Kyou's mind contrasted by the darkness of Kyou's dream. Kyou climbed into Yuki's bed slowly, as though in a trance, and moved right next him, wrapping his arms around him. Kyou clung to Yuki, buried his face in Yuki's chest, and for the first time in his life he was able to cry, really cry, and let out all his sorrow and pain. Kyou sobbed into Yuki's chest uncontrollably, the years of concealed emotion flowing out of him.   
  
Kyou's tears soaked through Yuki's shirt, the damp feel against his chest awoke him. Yuki's eyes opened wide in surprise when he saw Kyou in his bed.  
  
Kyou?! What are you doing here?!  
  
Kyou head rose slowly from Yuki's chest and his eyes met with Yuki's  
  
Please let me stay, just until his face goes away and I can't hear the voice anymore, please.  
  
Yuki looked at the pitiful figure wrapped around him, Kyou's eyes were bloodshot, and his face was streaked with tears. Yuki remembered that he had felt the same way once, when the dreams wouldn't stop, and he wished that someone would hold him and make the memories go away. No one had ever come, they left him in the darkness alone, why should he be there for Kyou when no one had been there for him, why should he show any sympathy for the one who had hated him, despised him?  
  
But then Yuki looked at Kyou again, the redhead sobbing into his chest, how miserable he was, and then Yuki's eyes softened.  
  
  
  
Yuki wrapped an arm around Kyou and with his other hand wiped the tears from Kyou's cheeks.  
  
Soon after they both fell into a deep sleep.  
  
Yuki woke up the next morning when he felt cool air on his chest where Kyou had been. Yuki wondered if Kyou being there had been a dream. He sat up and looked around the room for the cat, his gaze stopped at the window, it was open.  
  
_That was_ _strange. Why did Kyou come to my room?Why did I let him stay? I know we don't hate each other anymore, but it wasn't so long ago that we could hardly speak to each other, when I couldn't even laugh in front of him, when he was afraid to show his affection for Kazuma in front of me. A year ago I never would have believed that I would show Kyou the scar Akito had given me, or that Kyou slept in my bed, I can hardly believe it now. I keep expecting this to be a dream, to wake up with a dry shirt, my window closed, and the sheets next to me flat and smooth, but it seems the wish won't come true, it really_ _did happen. How can I handle it? How can I confront him? Maybe I won't have to, he's never home anymore. Why? Why did I let him stay? I just caused all these problems for myself, what to say, what to do, I just don't know.  
  
_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N; Pretty good chapter, huh? it's short, but I'm proud of it. Sorry that there's so much time between my updates, I'll probably only update once or twice a week on thursdays and fridays. Hee, I've been too busy with homework and my Fruits basket and Gravitation manga to write.  
  
*This was written before reading the manga, when I found out Tohru's room was planned to be Kyou's and that he sleeps in the living room anyway, doesn't it seem like he has his own bedroom in the anime?(when he wakes up with Ayame next to him lol!)  
  
*#@$%^!? Now** this is the extra special section that everyone must read, it is of the utmost importance! Anyone who reads this fic please leave a signed review, or if you are not registered include your e-mail address in the review or send it to me personally, I have an extra special treat for those who do. I will send something EXTRA- SPECIAL to those who do to go with my next chapter. Do it! You don't want to miss out do you? Of course not so do it! **_  
_


	6. Chapter 5 Oh God I Sound Like Ritsu

Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.  
  
**OMG you guys are frickin' awesome, all you needed was a little motivation**   
**  
Mimi**; thankyou, you reviewed every chapter, but you didn't leave an e-mail to send you the treat.   
**  
Pallas2; **Thanks for the motivation, and the great compliments, you really know how to boost a girls ego.   
**  
Empress Satori; **I love your enthusiasm, and I do have something special in mind for Akito there are worse/better things than death.   
  
**Blaze; **Thankyou. Don't you wish you had a real Kyou to *huggle* I use my orange cat mike.   
**  
Secretmirror180**;Thankyou. I understand, sometimes I'm lazy too.   
  
**Ophiaguin;** Thanx, you seem a little hyper, but I'm glad you like the story.   
  
**Oilcake**; I'm glad you liked the climbing in the window scene, it was fun to write, but now that you mention it, I wish I had added a bit more detail there.   
  
**Caer; Thanks** for the criticism, and I'm glad you stuck with the story past the raping part.  
  
A/N; **Aha! minna-san if you were good little reviewers and followed my instructions you should now have in your possession a wonderful super original drawing by me. Just for those who didn't follow instructions and don't have the lovely picture I will describe it in excruciating detail, later on in the chapter, but you will have no idea which scene it is I drew. But it is not too late there is still time to review, so get to it!  
  
**And now . . . on with the show.  
  
Chapter 5; Oh God, I Sound Like Ritsu  
  
That day at school Yuki was still thinking about Kyou's visit'. His mind swam while he sat in his classes. Kyou and Yukiwere still busy as ever, Yuki with his meetings and duties as Student Council President and Kyou with his research, every study period, during lunches, and after school, their time was occupied, so it was easy for them to to ignore one another. As the days went by, the questions in Yuki's mind were troubling him, he had to talk to Kyou, he just couldn't let it go.  
  
_What was so horrible that he couldn't deal with it on his own? Why did he come to my room?  
_  
Another thing was troubling Yuki, he kept seeing that image of Kyou in his daydreams.  
  
_I can't get that out of my head, when he was in my arms, his hair ruffled, his eyes red and large, the tears on his face glistening, he looked so innocent and vulnerable like that. I can't forget it, I try to will it away, like thinking Tohru, or the way Kyou grimaces when he's tricked into eating leeks, but it always comes back to that picture of Kyou, he looks so helpless . . . it's almost . . . cute.  
  
_He couldn't take it anymore. One afternoon Yuki cornered Kyou in the library.  
  
Enough! Tell me why.  
  
Why what?I don't have time to talk to you right now.  
  
Kyou shoved past Yuki and sat at one of the library's computers, thoroughly involving himself in his research.  
  
I need to know why, I can't just pretend that nothing happened.  
  
And just what exactly did happen?  
  
What do you mean?!  
  
Are really going to admit it, right here, where anyone can hear, in this place where you have a reputation, where you are king, where it could easily leak to the main house, to Akito, Kyou lowered his voice and hissed, that you shared a bed with, that you comforted, me?  
  
Yuki was silent.  
  
I didn't think so. still using his lowered voice, Do you know how embarrassing it is for me? To have to live with myself, knowing I'm still weak, that Akito still affects me so much that I came to you? And if me having come to you bothers you so much, why did you let me stay?   
  
I . . .  
  
I think you need to answer that for yourself before you question me.  
  
Kyou left the library while Yuki sat there, dumbstruck.  
  
It was time for Kyou to go to work, but he was too upset. When he left the library he had headed straight toward the restaurant, but he couldn't regain enough composure to go in there, he couldn't mask his emotion like Yuki could. Not knowing what else to do, Kyou climbed the fire escape of a building.  
  
_Why did he have to come talk to me? Why couldn't he just let it alone, forget it?  
  
No, he doesn't have the problem, I do. He's always been stronger than me, he can handle the past, I have never been able to.  
  
Why? Why can't I be strong like him? Why can't I face my memories? Why did I push him away? I wanted to talk to him, I really did, I wanted to tell him everything that was bothering me, but I was too proud to admit that I needed him, and I was afraid, afraid he wouldn't want to listen, that he wouldn't care. Why can't I stop being like this? Why am I such a coward? Why can't I do it on my own like he has?  
_  
Kyou finally started to notice the cats that were drawing around him. Cats would come to Kyou when he was in a state of heightened emotion and stress, and especially when he was in town. Usually he thought of them as a menace, but now they seemed comforting, their purrs and meows lent a gentleness to the harsh cityscape. He had never appreciated them before, but now he felt grateful to have them, it was soothing, calming to watch them weave about.  
  
_Tohru was right, they are cute  
  
_Being so high, when Kyou leaned back all he could see was their soft fur against the blue sky, like multicolored clouds, and Kyou drifted to sleep.  
  
Yuuukiiii! Where's Kyou?  
  
How should I know where that baka neko is?  
  
HIs boss called and told me he didn't show up today.  
  
That idiot, he's going to lose his job.  
  
I don't think Kyou would miss work on purpose, he's not that irresponsible. I'm worried, Yuki, you should go look for him, we're due to have a thunderstorm.  
  
Kyou awoke when he heard a thunderclap. He sat straight up, the rain began to fall.   
  
Oh shit.  
  
Kyou would have panicked, but the rain left him too weak, so in his fatigue he slowly trudged over to the fire escape. In his weakened state, just looking down from the roof made him dizzy, and he had some trepidation with climbing down, but no one knew where he was, and he had to get out of the rain. The rungs of the fire escape were cold and slick, making is difficult for Kyou to come down. Kyou descended slowly in the dark, the rain clouds obscuring any light the moon may have provided. His fingers seemed clumsy as they searched for the rails, grasping nothing in the darkness. His steps were unsteady as he shifted his weight, climbing down. The rain was heavy, it quickly soaked through his clothes, to Kyou it felt like sadness and despair creeping upon him. The night and the rain reminded him of the thing he most despised, Akito. Numb, wet and cold; numb to empathy, harsh like rain, yet smooth like puddles, and his voice and hands, always cold.  
  
Kyou's calm turned into hopelessness.  
  
_Yuki probably hates me again for speaking to him like that, for accusing him of the crime I had committed, wanting to forget. I told Yuki that he had wanted to forget because it would ruin his reputation, and that he couldn't admit that he let me stay. But even though it may be embarrassing for the both of us, truthfully, I didn't want to forget, at first I told myself that I did, that I had never needed him, but I want to remember. Maybe I'll never be able to say it out loud, but I never want to forget the way it felt lying next to him, my head resting on his chest, I could feel his heartbeat, his arms around me and mine around him. I'll never feel that again. Yuki probably hates me now , he probably wants to forget everything about me, and I don't blame him. Yuki and Tohru have gone through so much pain because of me . I' don't deserve either one of them.  
  
_Kyou had reached the last story of the building when he slipped.  
  
Cats always land on their feet.  
  
  
  
Ankle.  
  
If possible Kyou looked more pitiful than before, a soaking wet cat, limping home on a badly sprainedankle.  
  
_I need to get home, I need to get home. Oww _(wince) _I need to get home.  
  
_That was the most encouraging mantra he could come up with as he stumbled home.  
  
_Even though I've ruined Yuki and Tohru's lives, and Yuki hates me, and Oh God, I sound like Ritsu, that's not what worries me. What concerns me the most is that maybe I won't find a cure, as much as I want to, as hard as I'm working for it, it may just be a false hope. What will I do if I fail? What will I do if I spend my whole life searching and find nothing? What will I do after I've overturned every rock, followed every lead, and there is no cure, what would I do then?Will it mean that my search, my life, was a waste, useless, meaningless? After wasting all that time and effort, will what he said in my dream be right?Would it have been selfish, to raise everyone's hopes, to gain their support for something I only want for myself, for something I fail at?  
  
_Meanwhile, back at Shigure's house   
  
Yuki, it's getting late, are you sure you don't know where Kyou is?  
  
I already told you, I have no idea where that baka neko is.  
  
It' raining pretty hard, I hope he hasn't transformed.  
  
Don't even joke like that.  
  
Tohru, you wouldn't happen to know where Kyou is, would you, I'm getting worried and Yuki's being disagreeable.  
  
He's not at work?  
  
Nope, his boss called before you came home, he said Kyou didn't come in today.  
  
Oh no, I hope he's alright!! And in this weather, we should go look for him.  
  
Miss Honda, I'm sure he'll be fine, if he were in any trouble he'd call. Yuki said although unsure himself if it was true.  
  
"I don't know, I'm still worried, I mean, what if he couldn't get to a phone, or if he was kidnapped, or something horrible like that."  
  
_Tohru is one to let her imagination run away with her. _   
  
Kyou's pace became slower and slower the farther he walked, exhaustion overcame him and his sprained ankle became more painful. The rain had let up a bit, but the sidewalks were slick and the trail to Shigure's house was wet and muddy, so Kyou, being handicapped by the sprained ankle, slipped often and fell completely over each time, unable to catch himself on one foot.   
  
*   
  
"Kyou, where are you?" called Tohru.   
  
Sure enough, all three were outside in boots, carrying umbrellas, searching for Kyou.   
  
"How did we get talked into this?" Yuki said to Shigure.   
  
"I don't know, I guess Tohru -kun is very persuasive, and very kawaii."   
  
*   
  
"I . . . finally made it." Kyou said.   
  
There, in it's shining glory, was Shigure's house.   
  
Then, having successfully entered the house, Kyou collapsed from exhaustion.   
Ahh! I'm done, this chapter is excruciatingly long, and highly uneventful, but it's done. Sorry if it sucks, wonderful if you like it. This is the first chapter I've ended without having anything written for the next chapter, so, it might be a while before my next chapter, but don't worry, I will persevere. Since I have nothing written for the next chapter this would be the best time for you reviewers to give me suggestions. See you next time!   



	7. Chapter 6 Getting Better

Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.

Chapter 6A; Getting Well

Miss Honda, I think it's time we head back in, what if Kyou came home while we were gone.Is that concern I hear in your voice? For once Yuki shows some kindness toward his cousin, his lifelong partner in combat.Shut up.

_The way Shigure says it they sound like a couple._(Tohru sweat dropped)

The three walked into the foyer to see Kyou unconscious on the floor. He was sprawled out oddly, and from the looks of the floor he ahd been sleeping restlessly. There were mud marks surrounding him and the soaked clothes that were clinging to him were tightly twisted about him. Kyou had removed the shoe from his sprained ankle in his sleep, and now the shoe was about three feet away and the ankle was swollen. Tohru rushed over to him, highly alarmed.

Oh no, Kyou what happened to you.We won't find out now.Poor Kyou, I hope he'll be alright, we should get him out of those wet clothes.Yuki will you take care of him, It's late, I'll call Hatori to check on him in the morning.Oh . . . uh huh.

Shigure headed to his bedroom pausing once out of sight.

I'll help you with Kyou.Don't bother, it's alright, you've had a long night, you should get some rest.Ano . . .(yawn) . . . hai, good night.

Shigure continued toward his room chuckling to himself.

_Well, this is a surprise, no argument from Yuki against helping Kyou what's going on between those two._

(means new scene)

_Where am I? It's so bright in here. How long was I asleep? _

Kyou sat up from his bed.

Kyou began to feel the soreness in his muscles from the day before.

Oh yeah. note to self: don't fall asleep on strange roofs, and always check the weather forecast.

Kyou glanced around the room, his eyes resting on the one alien thing in the room.

_Huh! What is Yuki doing in here? Was he waiting to attack me? Is he waiting to tell me off for what I said yesterday?  
Calm down, you're acting like an idiot, look at yourself, you're clean, you're in different clothes, you're in your room and Yuki is asleep, he must have been the one who took care of you last night._

Kyou stared at his caretaker, and he began to feel a sort of warmth, longing, trust in him, but that unnerved him, Kyou masked those emotions with anger.

_That damn showoff, he just had to make himself look better by helping out the poor, pitiful, cat. I didn't even ask for his help . . .  
But you needed it didn't you?  
What if I didn't?  
Admit it, you did.  
_  
Kyou slowly glanced back over at Yuki.

_Yuki was sleeping soundly, the gentle sunlight filtering through the curtains, catching in his hair, glinting on the stray strands, it illuminated the hair to look like a halo. On Yuki's face was a soft expression of happiness and tranquility. Kyou tried to hold back a smile.  
_  
Hmm . . . now, how can I wake up the nezumi without getting beaten to a pulp? . . .Aha, I've got it!

Yuki woke up groggily, taking a few moments to notice the tanned arms clasped around his chest.

angrily, Do you know how long we were out there searching for you yesterday! And you missed wo . . .

Kyou cut him off, I'm sorry. Kyou hugged Yuki tighter.

Baka neko. Yuki said cooly, You're going to get fired, how did you get over here anyway, your ankle is swollen and you couldn't even get past the entryway yesterday.Aarrgh! Since when do you care kuso . . . I mean, I'm sorry. You took care of me yesterday, didn't you . . . thanks. I didn't mean those things I said yesterday, I guess I'm still jealous of how strong you are, how you can cope and I can't. Yesterday I didn't mean to snap at you, I meant to thank you, I really needed you that night.Kyou, you're not angry with me?Kyou, why are you hugging me(1)

Kyou blushed deep red. Because I felt like it! Kyou began to pull his arms back when a pair of ivory hands grabbed them and pulled them back into place.

No, it alright, I don't mind.(). . . So how did you end up like that last night?I fell.

_And . . . _

Baka. Do I have to beat it out of you? Yuki said with a smile.

Okay. Well, after I left the library I needed to cool off, so I climbed.What do you mean The roof.Of the school?No, an apartment building. . . . . . and.I fell asleep, a smile broke across Yuki's face, and then I woke up and it rained . . . Yuki started chuckling, You missed work and got caught in the rain because you were sleeping?It's not funny! I guess I was wrong, You really don't care!Idiot. Who do you think dragged your muddy carcass up here and cleaned you?Sounds like you're going soft, ratboy.(see #1)

Just finish your story, I don't have all day to sit here listening to you.Well the rain made me kind of dizzy so when I was climbing back down I slipped and fell, and twisted my ankle.You dragged yourself all the way home on a broken ankle? Why didn't you call home for someone to pick you up?I thought you were still angry with me, and I was depressed damnit! . . .In other words, you didn't think of it.

_I was awful, I didn't deserve to be helped._

Kyou was silent. We should call Hatori to look at your ankle. Kyou remained silent, consumed with thought.

_Why is he being so nice to me, he really is my savior. He does so much for me when he has every reason to hate me. I don't deserve him. I don't think that I could have gotten through without him. I. I was wrong last night, maybe I can feel that way again, safe and secure in his arms.  
_  
Kyou? Hello . . .Thank you. Kyou tightened his hold on Yuki again, trying to convey all his emotion in the hug, pressing his chest into Yuki's back. For a second Kyou had taken Yuki by surprise, causing him to freeze for a moment, it passed, and Yuki smiled one of those truly honest smiles that he rarely gives. They just sat alone together in silence, at peace with one another. Their hearts and breathing acclimating, while warmth, physical and emotional spread between them.

_This is weird, Kyou is hugging me and I'm not pushing away. I never expected that we could become this close, but it seems like we can leave those past grudges behind us. This feels good, like something i've wanted my whole life, something comfortable and satisfying.  
_  
Yuki sat there for a few more minutes before wondering when Kyou was going to let go, he turned to look at Kyou, and upon seeing his face, realized that Kyou had fallen asleep. Yuki smiled, That idiot. and then gently removed Kyou's arms and gently laid him down on his bed.

So Yuki, how is Kyou?He has a twisted ankle, we should call Hatori over later.Aww, it's so cute how Yuki is playing nurse for Kyou. Maybe I should call Aya over as well to bring over a nurse costume.Ohh! That would be so kawaii.Miss Honda, I think that anything that idiot brother of mine would bring over here would suit you much better than me. Shigure if you call my brother I'll hang you myself.Must you always spoil my fun? I was hoping to see both Ha'ri and Aya today, it's been so long since the three of us have been together.I'm really glad that you and Kyou are getting along anyway.I agree, a diplomatic answer is always the best answer to any conflict, unless it's a lover's quarrel, in which case I suggest something more passionate.What nonsense are you going on about now?Nothing. I'll call Ha'ri now, I hope he's not too busy.

Shigure left the dining room to make the call.

It really is kind of you to help Kyou. I knew you two could become friends.

Yuki stared at Tohru with a wondering look on his face.

Miss Honda are you the reason Kyou came to talk to me?

Tohru flushed red with nervousness and her voice trembled as she spoke at her mile-a-minute pace.

Oh, I'm sorry, I hope I wasn't being too forward, I suggested he talk to you, was I out of place, he didn't disturb you did he . . .

Tohru was silenced when Yuki put a finger to her lips.

That was one of the oddest conversations I've ever had. It's alright, thank you Miss Honda, you really are so thoughtful, your instincts were right, I think both Kyou and I needed it.No thanks required, knowing you two are finally getting along is reward enough for me.'

_How can she be real? such an incredibly selfless person, she seems higher than us, better than human, like an angel.  
_  
Yuki gently smiled at Tohru.

I'm going out to the secret base, will you tell me when Hatori gets here?

Yuki exited through the paper doors of the living room.

Tohru swooned,

_He's so handsome when he smiles._

And then began to clear the table.

_I wonder what I should bring Kyou-kun for breakfast._

After putting away the breakfast dishes Tohru was bringing a tray of food to Kyou.

knock, knock

_He must be sleeping, I'll just leave the tray for him_

Tohru cautiously entered the room, leaving the tray beside the bed. She glanced over at Kyou, he looked very peaceful, sleeping there, Tohru became mesmerized looking at him. She sat down next to him on the mattress, gazing at him.

_Kyou-kun is so handsome, even when he's sleeping calmly like this i can sense how strong and powerful he is, it makes me feel safe, and his hair, it's so much like mom's, it's familiar comforting, it reminds me of home._

Before she realized what she was doing, Tohru was stroking Kyou's hair. Kyou shifted in his sleep, surprising Tohru.

Kyou mumbled before wrapping his arms around Tohru's waist.(2)

POOF! a cloud of orange smoke filled the room.

Oh Kyou! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to turn you into a cat, I was just sitting on the bed and then you hugged me, but you must be wondering why I was in your room, uh, I was bringing you breakfast . . .I didn't mean to grab you, I thought you were Yuki I mean, I didn't know you were there, AARRGGHHH! What were you doing in my room!

_I am such an idiot,_ they spoke and thought simultaneously. 

Then the both of them stopped rambling incoherently and looked at each other.

They started laughing.

I'm sorry. Tohru said.

Yeah, it's alright. Kyou replied, before returning to human form wit a puff of orange smoke.

Tohru quickly turned away to let Kyou clothe himself.

So what did you bring me? Kyou asked once he had finished dressing.

Well, I know you don't like leeks, so I didn't make leek soup, even though that's best for when you're ill , so I brought you fish soup instead, I hope you like it.You're welcome Kyou-kun, you're certainly cheerful for having twisted your ankle yesterday.Do you expect me to be dull and lifeless like the nezumi.That's not what I meant, It's just amazing that you have so much energy in you, that nothing can keep you down.No, I have no where near as much strength as you have.Oh no, every time I'm stressed I end up getting a fever or fainting, it's kind of disappointing, to know I'm so frail and easily affected.You really are strong Tohru. Kyou argued.

Tohru gave up fighting, It seems like you and Yuki are getting along.Yeah I guess I don't hate him so much.

_Really Kyou-kun, it seems deeper than that, the way Yuki looked after you, and the way you said Yuki's name in your sleep._

Shigure called Hatori to come over.Damn! Hatori's coming, I'll never get out of bed, last time I had an ankle sprain he wouldn't let me leave the house for a week.Well, he's a doctor, he should know best .Sometimes I think he just lives to make me miserable like Shigure does.Oh, Kyou.

knock, knock

Ahh, Ha'ri you're finally here, and you've brought Aya along with you . . . Shigure added discontentedly.

Yes, I brought him along, I thought he would bring some cheer to your house, Shigure (and to get him out of my house).Gure-san! How my heart swells like a gushing geyser at the mere sight of you, too long I've waited for your gentle touch.Oh Aya, the mere sight of your silken hair makes my heart pine with regret for the time we've spent apart. They said, and then saluted each other with the thumbs-up sign.

But, I don't think Yuki will be very happy to see you, he promised to hang me if you came over.Fear not Shigure, I will defend you to the last, we shall end together or not at all, where is my darling younger brother anyway?I think he went to the yard, let's go visit him. Hatori sighed, Where is Kyou?He's upstairs. Hatori when you finish I think the three of us should talk.

Hatori started up the stairs, paying no heed to Shigure's second comment.

So you've sprained your ankle.Let me see it . . . tell me if it hurts. Hatori began to flex Kyou's ankle.

Oww . . .oww . . .shit, it hurts Hatori, will you stop moving it.It's very badly twisted, you'll have to keep off of it for at least ten days.Damn! Hatori do you live to make me miserable?Of course I do, just as Shigure and Ayame live to ruin my life. Take these painkillers once a day, at the end of the week I'll bring some crutches over for you to get used to.Do I really need to keep off of it for a whole ten days?Yes. You walked on it after you injured it, didn't you. If you hadn't tried to keep walking on it it wouldn't be this bad, the original injury would have healed in a day or two, but you aggravated it.Hatori, do you have any mind control power, you know like, other than erasing peoples memories? The question caught Hatori off guard, Kyou, what are you planning?Nothing, forget it , it was a stupid question anyway. I was just thinking how much easier talking to Akito would be it he were controlled by someone else.You need to talk to Akito about something?Yes, but it's a ways off.What about?Nothing important. He'll probably say no anyway. I don't even know why I'm going to bother.Kyou what are you going to ask Akito?Don't worry about it.

Kyou was obviously avoiding the question, Hatori decided to let the subject slide, for now at least.

Tell me how you twisted your ankle.I . . . uh.We were fighting and I tripped him on the stairs, he tried to catch himself and chase me back up the stairs and made it worse.Hello Yuki.Hello Hatori, could I speak to Kyou alone.Of course, His examination is finished, make sure he doesn't try to walk for the week.

Hatori left the room leaving Yuki and Kyou alone.

You weren't actually going to tell him that story about falling asleep on the roof, were you?No, and your story wasn't any better, at least I would have told the truth.A simple thank you would suffice.You think it's that easy to get a thank you out of me?I was this morning or did you forget already?I DIDN'T FORGET! That was . . . different.Uh huh. Yuki said skeptically. He walked over to and sat next to Kyou on the mattress. Yuki spoke again. Remember what I said that day we took Tohru to see Akito, when I said we should have a fight. I know you haven't been up to it since, but once your ankle is healed would you like to spar with me?I don't know . . . Kyou said in a placid tone.

_What! I thought Kyou would jump at a chance to fight with me_

Kyou watched as Yuki's face contorted with looks of confusion and dejection.

I didn't mean to offend you, but I don't know if I can fight with you anymore.What? That doesn't make sense, you love martial arts! You've been fighting with me since we first met!I just . . . , I . . . , it reminds me of him, of how he controlled me without me even knowing, all the stupid, ignorant, futile battles I fought, thinking you were my enemy. You're right, though, I love martial arts, I miss it, everything about it; the movement, the flow, the sense of power and knowledge I feel to go through a kata of execute flawless kick, and how it reminds me of Kazuma. I'm not sure if the positive feeling outweighs the memory. I just don't know if I can do it anymore.

Briefly Yuki fathomed goading Kyou into fighting, but being the kind of person who thinks before he speaks, he realized that it would not help the situation and would not have a positive affect on the newly formed friendship between them. To tell the truth Yuki didn't understand why he was angry at Kyou for not wanting to fight with him or why he had wanted to in the first place those months ago.

_For some reason I have this sort of urge to be near Kyou, I've felt it since the first night when he transformed or maybe before then. Kagura made me realize that no matter how much we fought, how much we said we hated each other, i cared for him, what happened to him was important. Since then I've had this lingering feeling that I want to talk to Kyou, be close to him. The feeling intensified the night he slept in my room. Although I was confused about why Kyou had come to me and I was jealous that he had someone to come to about his bad dreams, I was still happy. I was contented, it felt wonderful to help someone, but it wasn't just that, it was special because it was Kyou. I don't know why Kyou is so important to me, why I value this new friendship with him, it's strange, is it wrong or right? Should I feel so much for him? Should I be upset about him not wanting to fight with me? Whatever I'm feeling and however my relationship is changing with Kyou, I guess I shouldn't worry so much_.

I understand, but I don't think you should give it up entirely, you really are a great fighter.Yuki, I appreciate that, thank you.

Yuki began laughing, See, it is easy! 

Oh shut up! Kyou said with a quickly fading scowl, he couldn't help smiling at his own forgetfulness, that and Yuki's infectious happiness.

Meanwhile the mabudachi trio had convened in Shigure's study.

Ah. Watching those three reminds me of our youth, the new generation of the 'mabudachi trio.'Yes, they're almost as squeezable as we were.But no one could match the adorable mayhem we created when we were in school. Remember the time . . .

Hatori cut Ayame off Shigure, I'm sure you didn't bring us up here to reminisce about our school years.Although that is fun Hatori is right. I came up here to discuss with you the new generation of the mabudachi trio.I'm not staying here to listen to you two gossip.I mean this in all seriousness, I'm concerned for them.Really Gure, what's worrying you, you're not one to get worked up over anything.Hmm, you're right, that is a bit out of character for me isn't it, but it's those anomalies that make life interesting and ever-changing, for the story of life is constantly changing and never predictable. Que sera, sera! hahaha. (He's really not very concerned is he?)

Shigure, as you were saying about Kyou, Yuki, and Tohru.Oh yes, well Kyou's been acting strange ever since Kazuma's visit, it seems as though he should have recovered from the experience by now.Shigure, you can't expect him to be able to return completely to the person he was before, none of us can imagine how the experience felt for Kyou, he may just need more time.But it's not just that, Yuki and Kyou have been acting oddly, for a while they had been more friendly to each other, they stayed out of each other's way, they hardly fought. Then one night I woke up to voices and noises coming from Yuki's room, that was three days ago, and then yesterday Yuki seemed angry with Kyou about something, whenever I asked him where Kyou was he got annoyed.Well anyone would be annoyed at the way you pester people.Then when he saw Kyou's ankle last night, he took care of Kyou, took him to the room and everything, no argument at all!So you're suggesting that that Kyou and Yuki have some sort of secret friendship' or a relationship like ours?Are you sure Yuki wanted to help Kyou yesterday, it wasn't out of guilt?What do you mean Hatori?From the fight, Yuki told me Kyou was injured when they were fighting yesterday.That's not it at all! Kyou went missing yesterday, he missed his work shift, we spent all night looking for him, the when we gave up and went home he was lying on the floor soaked to the bone, covered in mud, with that twisted ankle.Gure, how horrible!'

I know, I thought my wood floor would be ruined.So he was lying, I suspected as much. That cock-and-bull story wouldn't explain how badly injured Kyou is. The question is; why is Yuki covering for Kyou?You couldn't fool us, you're justas much of a gossip as we are.'

I am merely concerned as you are, remember Shigure?Yes, we are deeply 

The three them laughed.

Hmm . . . that is strange, but isn't it good that they're becoming friend, shouldn't we be encouraging them?I don't think that Akito would approve.I understand, Akito sees any change in the family as a direct challenge to his power. Although, I wonder, it seems Tohru has created the groundwork for change in him, is it possible that someday soon we could have a gentler, more forgiving family head.Speaking of Akito, Kyou said something about needing to talk to him about something with him.Oh yes . . . so he's really going through with it, is he. A while back Kyou told us he was going to find a cure for the curse. I told him it was impossible, but Tohru kept on encouraging him. I was skeptical about the whole thing, but it stopped Kyou from waking us all up in the middle of the night, screaming from those nightmares. They rarely happen now, but Kyou has persisted, I'm afraid of what will happen when he goes through with it and tries to ask Akito about it.Hmm, should we discourage Kyou from his plan?I don't think that we should do that, let's just let things go on as they are for now, Kyou told me, it's a while yet before he will speak with Akito.Won't it be harder to get Kyou to let it go, it will be a bigger letdown the more time we let it go on.Kyou is a big boy, he can handle the disappointment. All we can do now is keep a close eye on the junior trio.'Ahh that feels like a weight lifted off my shoulder. Now Ha'ri you can leave so Aya and I can talk about our love lives, we wouldn't want to depress you.

Hatori gave and annoyed sigh, Hatori stepped out of Shigure's study and into the garden, lighting a cigarette.

So Aya, how is Mine?She's wonderful, why just the other day she came into the shop in this adorable pink and white dress, all ribbons and lace, the skirt at mid-thigh, slightly flared; thigh-high stockings, garters and all, decked with ribbon flowers on the top edge; ribbons and flowers adorning her hair and the bustle and train at he small of her back. What a glorious sight she was, if it hadn't been one of my favorite dresses I would have ripped it off her myself. It was so odd, I've seen those outfits on so many people, but none of them have made my heart race like Mine. Seeing all those costumes before, I had become sort of desensitized to it all, attraction, romance, the allure of a woman, it's like Mine has reawaken my senses and emotions.Oh Aya how naughty! sounds like things are going splendid, no problems in the snake department?Not as of yet. How are things going with Mii?I can hear the desperation in her voice each time I call.Well that's to be expected, the way you drive her in circles at your deadlines.Let me tell you my newest plan of action to tease Mii. First I shall send her a ransom note telling her that i'm kidnapped and that to ge me back she should meet the kidnapper at that expensive french restaurant in town, where I will be waiting dressed in my finest treating her to dinner.Excellent, tricking her into a date.But that's not the end, I will end the evening by leaving her a false manuscript with a note telling her to meet me for another date the next night, if she wants her manuscript.Shigure, that is truly devilish.'

And wholly fun. I love how she gets so emotional over the little tricks I play, it's so adorable, and then when I finally give her my work she is so happy she can only cry.'

If only tricks and cute outfits weren't the farthest we could go.'

Shigure sighed, That's why you, Aya, will always be my number one.From beginning to end you and me. Ayame drew close to Shigure, putting an arm around his waist.

Shigure put an arm around Ayame's shoulders.

The two gazed at each other and then their heads moved together, their lips met. They kissed enjoying the feeling of each others' mouth for a few seconds before pulling away, then they rested their foreheads together.

Ayame sighed a quiet, and Shigure imitated him, and they both began chuckling softly.(3)

(I'm glad I'm not in there, who knows what perverted things they're talking about.Kyou did you take the painkillers Hatori prescribed?Yeah. Yuki why are you being so nice to me?I thought you wanted us to be friends or at least that's what Tohru told me. Plus I feel sort of responsible for you ending up like this.It's not your fault at all, I was the one who ran off. I shouldn't have yelled at you, you did something nice for me and I tried to make you feel embarrassed for having done it. Damn I really don't mean to be such an idiot all the time, I should have just talked to you, to tell the truth, it was something I needed to come to terms with.Some of the things you said . . . you were right, I needed to hear it.And if me having come to you bothers you so much why did you let me stay?

(End Flashback)

Yuki awoke from his reverie.

I'm sure Tohru is cooking dinner now, d'you want me to bring you anything?Nah. I don't have an appetite.

Kyou paused, his mouth still open slightly, as if trying to formulate the right words.

Yuki would you stay here, just until I fall asleep, . . . I mean, it's not like you have to stay if you don't want to, it would just help me fall asleep. Forget it, it's alright, I'm no baby, I can fall asleep on my own, damn, why did I ask such a stupid question in the first place! Kyou was so nervous he was stumbling through the words, his palms were sweating and clammy and his head was was beginning to feel hot and feverish.

I'll stay. Yuki said. Kyou's face flushed red, he tried to pull his comforter up to cover the blush.

Yuki climbed onto the mattress next to Kyou, laying back with his hands behind his head. Yuki being that close to Kyou made him even more nervous, he felt hot and sticky under the blanket. Yuki glanced over and saw how red Kyou was, he reached over . . .

Kyou saw a hand coming into his plane of view, it came closer and closer, Kyou couldn't figure out what Yuki was trying to do, but the hand's course didn't change, approaching until . . .

Kyou flinched. Yuki rested the back of his hand on Kyou's head.

You feel warm. I think you have a fever, do you want some ice?

Kyou sighed, relieved, No, I'm fine, I don't need any ice.

_What was I thinking, it's not like he was going to hit me or something, I guess I'm nervous cause this is new for me . I've never been just calm, just me around Yuki, before it was always a fight, or pretending, hiding our true selves and emotions, the only times I felt that we were honest with each other were because of Tohru. When we were waiting for her to come home, that day after the cultural fair, the both of us were comfortable enough to fall asleep in the living room because we knew exactly what the other was thinking, we were not worried about being attacked by one another because we each knew that we were only concerned with Tohru coming home safe. That's how I should feel, comfortable, safe, the way I felt that night . . . _Kyou started to heat up again and that sticky irritating feeling came back . . ._that is the way I should feel, not nervous! Now that I think about it, I've felt this way before, when I first met Tohru, when she would walk into a room with me I would shake, I'd be quivering, sometimes the words wouldn't come out of my mouth, or I'd be shouting for no reason at all. It made me feel so strange, so I'd yell and say that she didn't belong here, why do I feel this way, why can't I just feel the way I want to feel._

Kyou tried to shift his position to get more comfortable despite Yuki being there.

Kyou, what made you decide to do this, curing the curse. Yuki asked

I'm just tired of seeing everyone pushed around by Akito, I don't want to see anyone get hurt by him anymore.If you find a cure, will everyone stop obeying Akito, will Akito be cured too.That's what I expect, once were free from the curse we'll be free from Akito, right? And if I had it my way Akito would stay cursed.

Yuki began to regret having said anything about Akito, the mere mention of his name made everything feel cold and dark. The memories still haunted him.

Would you please not mention him again.

Kyou had felt it too, any mention of Akito seemed to rob the atmosphere of all warmth and joy.

Yuki nodded in agreement.

The two fell silent, Yuki having given up on conversation._  
_  
_This is not the way Kyou used to be, what happened to him, he's lost some of the spirit he had, the fire and intensity. It's odd, I kind of miss that about him, his strong attitude, that energy, it was contagious: always, fighting Kyou was so much ore exciting than fighting Haru because in every battle he would give off this energy that just made you feel invigorated, He seems more reserved now, I think of this as the new Kyou, but I guess this has been a part of him most of his life, something he just suppressed. Still, I hope that he can learn to be that way once again, happy, with that fire in his eyes._

. . .

Yuki turned his head to look at Kyou. He was asleep. Yuki began to climb out of the bed when Kyou grabbed him. Kyou was still asleep, but clutching Yuki tightly.

Yuki make it go away, make Akito go away. Make the pain stop. I don't want to remember. Mommy will still love me if I forget, won't she?

Yuki shivered, it was frightening to see Kyou act this way, he had always seemed so strong, it was surreal for him to cling to Yuki like a child, and even worse it felt like reliving the nightmares of his childhood.

Yuki tried to comfort Kyou, patting his back, and then he cradled Kyou's shoulders in his arms.

It's alright, I'm here. Yuki soothed

Kyou eventually calmed down and rested peace fully again.

Yuki left the room laughing to himself.

_I should have known better than to lay down next to him again.  
_

Author's notes

cuteness moment 1: Kyou, why are you hugging me.  
add full room pan and excessive beauty of nature' shots here  
#1 Either that or you've got glaucoma Daria  
cuteness moment 2: poof  
My first normal transformation Yayy!  
#2 There is so much innuendo and double-entendres in my dialogues with and about Hatori, I was kinda self-concious about it.  
#3 I love the way shigure uses the word , in the subtitles he uses this word instead of cute. The only time I had ever heard that word used before was to describe toilet paper.LOL.  
cuteness moment 3:   
Again, I made a mistake, after reading book two I found out Kyou had a room, aaahhh, I'm so dumb.  
Why are Aya and Gure getting more action than Kyou and Yuki, and boy do those players know how to get some tail. 

**Continued**

_Blue sky  
Orange, Yellow, Red leaves  
Crisp Autumn Winds_

God Damnit! I need to get out of this house.

It was the seventh day of Kyou's recovery and he was afflicted with cabin fever. Being stuck in the house resulted ;  
-Crankiness  
-Anxiety  
-Random Shouting()  
-Boredom  
-And entirely too much time to think about Yuki.

Kyou had awaken that morning to peace and quiet, interrupted by Shigure's obnoxious voice.

Kyou-kun! It's time for Yuki to give you your sponge bath isn't it? Shigure's voice rang through the house, the joke of Yuki being Kyou's nurse had perpetuated, at least for Shigure, especially since Ayame had, without fail, produced a darling candy stripers' uniform in Yuki's size.

Or would you prefer Tohru-kun, I know how you love her strawberry towels!Shigure continued his taunt, to Kyou's annoyance.

_That kuso, baka, hentai, ecchi, inu._

knock, knock

Yuki's soft voice drifted in.

Kyou, I think the coast is clear, hurry up, before Shigure comes back.Hurry up.Well, it's hard. It hurts to move it around this much.Do you want me to do it? Yuki asked sarcastically.

Hell no!

Fortunately Kyou made it to the shower before Shigure returned upstairs.

_Who the hell does he think he is, joking like that._

Author's notes

() when does Kyou not do this?  
****

Continued

After Kyou's shower he still felt awful, his feelings of depression that got him injured him in the first place had stagnated. They continued to hang in the air like a bad smell, especially due to Kyou being trapped in the house. The house was so quiet during the day, with Tohru at work, and Yuki at his student council meetings after school; it left Kyou pretty much on his own, to brood on his depressing thoughts, occasionally walking to the window to curse nature for being so beautiful to spite him. Sure Shigure was there, but he wasn't much help, he had started asking Kyou about how he was getting along with Yuki, which was definitely not something he was ready to talk about. So Kyou simply continued to worry.

_Why did decide to do this in the first place? I'll never be able to find a cure, no one believes I can do it, Shigure already said it was hopeless.What if I fail? What if I spend my whole life searching and find nothing? Will my life mean nothing if I fail?_

These questions constantly swam in Kyou's mind, driving him crazy.

Meanwhile, Yuki had been distracted all day at school. Something had been nagging at him, but he couldn't quite get a hold of what it was, he kept drifting off, losing concentration. When his teachers called on him in class and he answered, they thought he was ill and would send him out of class to get some fresh air or a drink of water. Tohru had noticed Yuki's odd behavoir and asked him about it at the end of the schoolday.

Yuki, daijoubu?I'm fine Miss Honda, thankyou, I think I'm just a bit tired.Oh, alright then, just don't exhaust yourself.Don't worry about me Miss Honda, I'll be fine, just take care of yourself.

Tohru smiled brightly at Yuki and replied with a giggle, If I don't worry about you, who will? Make sure you get home and rest. Oh my, I better hurry, I don't wanna be late for work. Bye-bye Sohma-kun. Yuki called, and with that she went off to her job.Yuki started towards his student council meeting, but something about what Tohru said troubled him.

_What did she mean by,If I don't worry about you, who will? there was something odd about it. That didn't sound like her, but she's never coy or witty, so most of the things she says arevery straightforward unless she's using one of those odd metaphors of hers, but that didn't sound like either, that sounded like . . . flirting. No, that couldn't be, not from someone as pure and innocent as Tohru-kun, I must have heard it wrong. I'm thinking too much on it, I'm becoming just as perverted as Shigure, corrupting what was simply a sweet sentiment._

Yuki continued onward toward his meeting.

_or was it?_ __

Yuki sat down in the meeting room listening to the others discuss plans for the upcoming cultural fair when an uneasiness came over him, making it difficult for him to concentrate . Yuki began to daydream, something he rarely indulged in, and completely removed himself from the meeting.

In his dream Yuki heard the words Shigure had said that morning, Kyou-kun, it's time for Yuki to give you your sponge bath isn't it? but then Yuki headed to do it. Yuki went to the bathroom and and got a sea sponge, soap, a pitcher, and basin, and then he headed to Kyou's room. In his dream the room seemed like Kyou's, but unlike it, all that was clearly visible were Kyou and the bed he sat on, everything else was soft and blurred. The room was bathed in an erethreal light which made Kyou's hair shimmer. Yuki knelt beside the bed to prepare the water, pouring some into the basin, the water made a pleasant plink-plop-plop sound(1). Then he dipped the sponge into the water to moisten it, rubbing it against the bar of soap to make suds, meanwhile the dream-Kyou watched intently, seemingly anxoius for Kyou to start. Yuki reached up to Kyou and began unbuttoning his nightshirt, Kyou submissively consented, allowing Yuki to undress his upper body, Yuki's fingers touching the soft skin of his chest every now and then, the smooth cloth sliding off Kyou's shoulders. Yuki gently ran his fingers up the side of Kyou's face, and then pulled them through his hair to move the loose strands out of his handsome face. Then he touched the sponge to Kyou's temple and gently dabbed it across his face. Dream-Kyou seemed to enjoy it, he closed his eyes, and his mouth would twitch into a slight smile whenever Yuki hit a sensive spot. After finishing Kyou's face Yukidragged the sponge along Kyou's neck, which was particularly sensitive, causing Kyou to shiver and twitch. The motion was very cute and it excited Yuki, he reluctantly continued onward cleaning Kyou's upper back, shoulders, and arms, during which Kyou remained relatively silent until Yuki reached his chest. When Yuki passed over Kyou's nipples with the sponge he began to writhe, and as Yuki continued downward Kyou's breathing quickened and he made soft sighs and moans. When Yuki reached the place where the blanket covered Kyou's waist Yuki stopped, unsure of himself. Dream-Kyou continued to writhe with anticipation, but when Yuki's touch failed to come Kyou slowly opened those gorgeous red eyes heavy-lidded with pleasure. He parted his lips and questioningly said,

_Yuki?_

Kyou . . . Yuki said aloud, his voice raspy with desire. Yuki had just been asked what he thought of their new idea for the booth at the cultural fair.

What did he say? A girl asked.

I think he said another answered.

Why would he say Maybe that's the person he wants to take his place wearing the dress' this year.Ohh. Payback for being laughed at in that ridiculous outfit.But why Kyou?What do you mean?He'd look horrible in a dress.How do you know? He is Yuki's cousin after all.But how would we get him to do it?Maybe we could get Tohru to convince him, you've seen how she hangs out with him.Kyou? . . . Tohru? No that's not right, I want . . . Yuki broke in.

One of the students touched Yuki on the shoulder,

Are you alright?

Yuki snapped back to reality.

I'm so sorry, I was completely somewhere else, I think I need some fresh air and rest. Can someone brief me on the meeting tomorrow?Of course. And with that Yuki sped out of the room.

Why on earth was I dreaming that? Yuki asked his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Yuki's face was flushed red.

A/N;

(1) Yes, I know my onomatopoeias suck.  
****

Continued

At home Kyou was not thinking about Yuki, on the contrary, he was just then thinking of several very simple, morbid, suicidal, genocidal, and homicidal ways of ending the curse, such as;

Commit suicide,  
yes, it was incredibly selfish and and no, it wouldn't help anyone

Kill every living Sohma,  
if he succeeded in killing everyone, no one else would ever be affected, of course it wouldn't be easy

Or kill Akito,  
completely ineffective, but gratifying nonetheless.

In other words, Kyou felt hopeless.

Slowly, day by day, Kyou's ankle improved, his mood did not. As his flesh healed his internal wounds remained irritating, inflamed sores. The recuperation had left Kyou feeling listless and depressed. He felt like a cat in a cage, one that was too small, like a house cat being shoved into a birdcage. Every glance out the window sent him into sadness and longing, desperate for the sun, the feel of crisp autumn breezes dancing through his hair. He felt not only imprisoned by Hatori's orders, but by his own limitations. His ankle was an impediment to everything he was working towards, he couldn't research, he couldn't work, for goodness sake, he couldn't even climb up to the roof. It angered him, but more than anything it made him feel hopeless and depressed. There was honestly nothing to be done until he was well so for a period of time he felt truly useless.

Plus he was lonely, you don't really understand loneliness until you have relationships with people, and he missed being with people. It truly surprised him that he missed people, it was surprising to think that two years ago he had told Shigure that he wasn't meant to deal with people, had it really been that long? Now he missed the sense of community he had at school and he especially missed the company of Yuki and Tohru. Since Kyou's injury Tohru had taken up extra shifts, to try to make up for the money Kyou wouldn't be making while he was healing, so he rarely saw her and Yuki was as busy with student council as ever. The loneliness Kyou felt made him feel weaker, embarrassed that it could effect him so.

Doubt flooded his mind about everything he knew. Though months had passed since his transformation, his second form was still troubling him. Sometimes he wondered if Kazuma had really accepted his second form as part of him, but then, he remembered that Kazuma was the one who removed his bracelet. If he had feared Kyou in his cursed form he would not have taken the risk. With his doubts about Kazuma's acceptance came an old fear, a ghost from the past, his mother. The look of fear on her face , her turning in shame, the reassuring words that were always so unconvincing; each time the bitter memories resurfaced Kyou tried his best to will them away, saying,

You're past this, she's not here anymore, you have Kazuma now.

but the words were not very comforting. The truth was, he didn't really have Kazuma, Kyou knew that Kazuma would always support him, but it was rather hard to feel his paternal love at such a distance.

The fear that consumed Kyou the most, though, was the fear that Yuki did not accept his second form. Tohru's acceptance hadn't meant as much as Yuki's had; thinking back on it Kyou wondered why he had not expected Tohru to come after him like she had, it wasn't in her nature to reject anyone. Yuki was a completely different story, Kyou still didn't understand why Yuki had gone after him, it was so unlike Yuki. How was he to be sure that Yuki wouldn't go back to being the same, cat-loathing, evil, rat.

_Why did that damn shit rat come after me anyway, he was probably just worried about Tohru, like it would kill him to care about anyone else._

But he does care . . .

How can I be sure? How do I know that? Besides I don't care about him, so what if we made amends? so what if we're not rivals anymore.

He does care for you, and that's what you wanted . . .

Oh really? What I wanted? What I wanted was to ignore that part of me, to forget the pain, to forget my life, I don't want to exist, I . . .

You don't mean that, you're just afraid . . .

Yes, I'm afraid of Akito, I'm afraid the plan won't work. Who cares? I never asked to be a part of this family anyway!

Who did?

. . .

Yuki didn't, Akito didn't.

And with the word itself the thoughts rushed, flooding Kyou's mind. Akito smiling benevolently, as if to conceal the true demon he is; Akito standing menacingly over him with a knife; , the memory of the ice coldness; faint words, , , Then even more painful new words, the voice echoing through his mind.

You think I will allow this? I thought I taught you long ago, my word is law. You cannot free them, or yourself, even in death I would own you because I would be the reason for your suicide, give up, my hideous monster. Otherwise you will be punished in more ways than one.

The rush of thought and emotion clouded his mind to the point of causing physical pain. Kyou fainted and then transformed. In place of Kyou on his bed was the small orange cat sleeping off the headache.

Kyou remained a cat, he wasn't found until evening.

Shigure and Yuki were sitting at the table, Tohru was working that evening, so they ordered bento that evening for dinner. When Kyou had not appeared at all during dinner Yuki decided to take him a box.

As Yuki walked towards Kyou's door his heart began to race. It made uncomfortable palpitations, the way his heart would beat during an asthma attack, but he felt no pain, just anxiety. Yuki could sense that something was wrong. Yuki opened the door and saw Kyou's current state.

Kyou was still unconscious, curled up in a ball on his bed. Yuki approached the bed, his heart still beating furiously, and knelt beside it. The rise and fall of the cat's chest assured him that Kyou was still alive. Yuki gently nudged Kyou's shoulders to wake him. . Kyou shuddered, but did not wake. Oh well, Yuki had to resort to plan B, Yuki ran his hand along Kyou's underside. Kyou woke with a start, jumping up, hissing and spitting.

Yuki couldn't help but laugh. It was hilarious to see Kyou like that. To a normal person, seeing a cat hiss wouldn't be very funny, but to a Sohma it was the kind of thing you'd talk about for weeks.

What are you doing here? Get out!Just making sure it was you and not some alley cat that wandered in. Yuki said snickering.

Kyou paced his bed nervously, fuming, before calming himself down.

Why did you do that?To wake you up.No, why did you do **that**!What? Stroke your tummy?Yes! You know that's where my . . .1Actually I don't know, I'm not that familiar with cat anatomy, but if you'd care to enlighten me . . .Never mind, you can leave now.Why are you a cat?None of your business. Leave now!I don't think your ankle is strong enough for you to have walked far enough to hug a girl, so what's wrong?Nothing. Go!Tell me.

Kyou rose a standing position, feebly. Kyou's eyes flashed with true anger as Yuki had not seen before.

The cat crouched, puffing itself up and fluffing it's tail like it was inflating with anger. Kyou's eyes sparkled as if a flame had been lit in them, pools of shimmering red and amber. The creature flattened it's ears and snarled, baring the sharp teeth to threaten Yuki.

Yuki decided to take the warning and leave, but before exciting he said one last thing,

Kyou, you don't have to be afraid to talk to me, I'm not your enemy.

Then he shut the door behind him.

Kyou released himself from the death-glare stance and curled up among his pillows as if to hide from his guilt and shame.

_That baka . . ._

Yuki leaned against the wall and banged his fists on it.

Call Hatori, Kyou's turned himself into a cat.

Yuki announced in Shigure's room.

And he hasn't been out of his room I'll guess. Shigure said.

No, I don't suspect so.Well I'd feel terrible to call Ha'ri now and have him over on such short notice.More like he'd bite your head off.He's due by tomorrow to check on Kyou's ankle anyway, we'll just wait till he comes.I don't think it should wait.Don't worry, Kyou will be fine, he's strong, that's something you've always underestimated about him.What do you mean? I've always beaten him.Physically you may be stronger than Kyou, but you've always underestimated the strength of his heart, but it is not uncommon for lovers, friends, rivals,(what are you two these days?)to ignore their partners greatest strength. There is a tendency to see them as vulnerable. Look at all Kyou has been through without really breaking down, he's resilient. Kyou's not ready to give in yet, he's still too stubborn to realize he needs help. Let him have his pride, let him keep what strength he can. Don't push, give him time.3

There was a deafening silence after Shigure's words, he left Yuki with a lot to think about.

The next day . . .

As usual Kyou spent the day at home, alone, but this time as a cat. Kyou was much more sensitive and emotional as a cat, so spending the day alone, cooped up inside once more had a much more profound affect.

When he awoke that morning , and realized he was still a cat, all Kyou wanted to do was force himself back to sleep. Of course, this would be one of those difficult mornings where he would shift positions every five minutes for about an hour before giving up on sleep. So he eventually climbed out of bed, making him instantly wish he could fall back to sleep, then he paced the room a bit taking a few moments to look out the window before trying to sleep again. Of course it was futile. He went pacing again, and all of a sudden his eyes caught the movement of the curtain.

_Why was it moving? It should be still. I'll just reach up and hold it still_.

Before he knew it, Kyou had shredded the curtains.

Hatori came over that day, but not alone.

Shigure questioned after opening the door.

Yep,it's me, the darling cute bunny!It's good to see you Momiji, If you came to visit Tohru-kun, she's in the dining room.Nope, not now, I'm on a mission! Momiji declared, Today is my ending his statement with a meaningful pose, pointed finger extending to the sky.

After talking to you this morning I thought Momiji would be the best medicine for Kyou.  
Hatori said with an uncharacteristic gleam in his eye.

I knew it! Ha'ri has caught our sense of humor, the years of bad influence have finally paid off, I've got to tell Aya!

With that Shigure scampered off to his room to call Aya. Hatori sighed with exasperation as he and Momiji climbed the stairs.

I better go take care of Shigure, Momiji I'll leave you to it?Aye Aye Captain! Have no fear, Momiji is here.

Then they both went their separate ways.

Momiji approached Kyou's door, slowly, steadily, creeping on his toes in utmost silence. He continued on sneaking, inch by inch until he was pressed against Kyou's door.

knock, knock

Go Away. Kyou said sourly. Earlier Tohru had talked to him, but it had only made him more ashamed of his current state.

Flashback

Tohru knocked on the door softly, followed by a gentle, I really don't want to talk right now.That's alright. I can talk to you.

Kyou sweat dropped _That's not what I meant_, but nonetheless Kyou was won over by Tohru's cute naiveté.

Come in. Kyou said in a low voice.

Tohru entered the room, slightly wary, Knowing Kyou's temper. She slowly walked over to his bed and sat near Kyou. Tohru sat silently for a moment, idly playing with the hem of her shirt, then she realized, _Oh right, I'm the one who's supposed to be talking_, 

I'd really like to understand why you feel this way Kyou, you know that I worry about you. I do understand that you can't tell me, so I won't force you, do whatever makes you feel best.

Then Tohru took a moment to organize her thoughts.

Kyou took that moment to walk over and set himself right next to Tohru so that he was snuggled up right against her leg. Tohru reached over and put him in her lap. Kyou decided not to object and made himself comfortable.

I know you don't want to talk to anyone right now and I know out of pride you wouldn't want to tell me what's wrong, so I'll just wish and pray that you get well. I'll pray that your ankle heals so you can go back to your job and your research, I'll pray that you can find a way to be happy again so that you'll feel strong and motivated to find the cure: but most of all I want you to be happy so that I can see your smile again. So, if you can't get well for yourself, or for your family, maybe you can get well for me.

Tohru looked into Kyou's eyes as she ended the statement, petting the soft fur on Kyou's back. Tohru's eyes widened suddenly, as she realized the intimacy of the situation.

Umm . . . I mean . . . that is, if you want to do it for me, of course, that's just assuming that I mean that much to you . . . I'm being too presumptuous aren't I?

Kyou interrupted her, yelling and then seeing the look on Tohru's face, realized his tone was too harsh, No . . . I'm sorry. I meant to say thank you. I will try to get well Tohru, for you.

They sat in contented silence for a while and Tohru, sensing that Kyou didn't mind, continued to stroke his orange fur.

Now, Tohru had encouraged Kyou to try to get better, but she had not gotten to the root of the problem. So, enter Momiji.

Today our hero' wears red culottes and burgundy socks and his long sleeved, blue, t-shirt has the Superman logo, but the S' is replaced with a for genki.' On his head is a hat, with gold, blue, red, and white stars in a Wonder Woman-esque design, and pinned to his shirt was an Ultraman button.

Momiji burst into Kyou's room in true space pirate form like Ryoko, Haruko, or Atomsk. Fog and dust rose around him and he was backlit, so that he was only a dark silhouette with his hair blowing wildly around his head with the help of wind from an unseen force. Slowly the smoke cleared and lights rose, revealing our hero's' identity to everyone. Momiji's head rose slowly, and then a dark smirk was revealed on his face.

Hi Kyou! Momiji grinned and bounded to Kyou's bed.

You need all that entrance just to say Hi Kyou'?Well, I'm going to say more eventually, and I wanted to be dramatic.I really wish I could give you a noogie right now for that, but this form prevents me from picking on you.Well that's good! Momiji said, grinning.

How the hell is that good! I'm a cat, I can't even control myself, I tore up the curtains and I have this constant urge to lick myself.Well then you should change back, shouldn't you?And how do I do that? Kyou said exasperatedly.

That is for you to tell me.First of all how should I know and why would I tell you?Because I am safe. I don't live here, you don't like me, you have nothing to prove to me, and I'll be gone by tomorrow. There is no risk for you.Is it that bad? Does everyone see how depressed I am? Why do they even care, can't they just let me rot on my own in peace?What is wrong with you Kyou? Everything. I don't know, being a part of this family.No, what really is bothering you? Right now.Do they really not mind about the monster, or are they just pretending? I miss Kazuma, why couldn't I have just stayed with him? Why did I remember? Why did I believe the truth and stop fighting Yuki? I could have just as easily refused and remained ignorant, and fought him and been happy? What am I doing? What have I done? What happens now?Allow me to be exceedingly perceptive. This is about Yuki, isn't it?

If a cat could flush Kyou would be the color of a red delicious apple right now.

Well, is it or isn't it?I don't know, it is . . . sort of, but it's also about the plan, and about true form . . .But it's mostly about Yuki, isn't it. . . . yes.Take a chance Kyou.A chance at what. A chance losing everything, a chance at being broken, a chance at letting him beat me without even putting up a fight.Stop being afraid. You can't insulate yourself from everything, you're not giving up by wanting to be with someone, it's a strength, not a weakness. You trust Yuki, he wouldn't be in this just to beat you, he's taking a chance too, there are just as many risks for him as there are for you, but he'll take that chance, risk it so that you both can have happiness, even if it ends up costing him.What about Tohru?**What about Tohru? **You don't belong to her, you love her and she loves you. Above all, she wants **you** to be happy. She will do whatever she has to to see you happy.But, she was there for me.She wanted to be there for you, it was of her own free will. That doesn't make you hers, you owe her only your gratitude, respect, and admiration, you owe her nothing more. Your heart is your own to give to whomever you want.

Inside Kyou, all the locks he had placed on his heart were being released, and all the worries and preoccupations he had placed on his mind were fading away. Kyou smiled as the tears began to fall, the clear orbs gliding through his fur.

poof

Kyou was feeling too happy and lifted up to care that he was nude.

Momiji rose to leave.

Take your chance Kyou. He said, smiling encouragingly.

Thank you Momiji. Kyou replied quietly.

As soon as Momiji got outside of Kyou's room he he did a little victory dance down the hall, singing a song in his head.

(to the tune of the Dora the Explorer We Did It song)

_I did it, I did it, I did it,_

YAY!

(Yo encima)

I did it!

I broke through Kyou's shell, and he's happy again

I did it, I did it, I did it,

HOORAY!

Now he'll fall in love with Yuki, and you'll know why

cause

I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it

My work is over, a job well done.

From here on out, you'll know who saves the day.

Momiji, Momiji, Momiji

YAY!

I DID IT!  
  
end of cute little song and dance

Momiji went down to the living room, still humming his little song.

Tohru was there, serenely sipping on a cup of tea.

Hello Momiji! I didn't know you were here, would you like to have some tea?**Traurig**, I'm here on business Tohru, sorry I couldn't talk with you earlier, and I'm very sorry, but my job isn't finished just yet, I promise I'll come back as soon as I finish.Oh, ok I'll be waiting then.I promise. Would you happen to know where Yuki is?Sorry, I haven't seen him since breakfast.O.k. Thanks anyway Tohru.

Momiji dashed off, searching for Yuki all through the house, even checking the roof and the secret base.' When Momiji found Yuki, he was in Shigure's study, reading a book called A Natural History of Love5

Yuki, I have good news Momiji said, grinning,Kyou has returned to his human form, and I think he'd be very happy to see you right now.

Yuki didn't need any more provoking, he was gone in less than a millisecond.

_Ah, this is what I live for, making people happy, two at a time, he he he._

  
Yuki went straight to Kyou's room and opened the door.

Kyou, I'm sorry.You're damn right you're sorry you pervert, I could have been changing, Kyou laughed. I'm sorry too.

Kyou hugged Yuki tightly.

Well, are you hungry, you must want to get out of this room and stretch your legs.Not quite yet.Why not?I'm sleepy.You spent all this time in your bedroom and you're sleepy?Mmm . . . Yes. Will you take a nap with me?Okay. Just for a little while.

The two of them settled onto Kyou's bed, side by side, propped up on the pillows, Kyou sort of snuggled into Yuki and Yuki's arm wrapped awkwardly around Kyou's side, not sure if he should rest it on Kyou's waist or his shoulder.

And before they fell asleep, Kyou did something very un-Kyou-like, and kind of daring, he kissed Yuki on the cheek. Then two of them then settled into a lazy afternoon nap.

THE END OF CHAPTER SIX

**THANK GOD**

1 This is where a cat's nipples are supposed to be, do male cats have nipples?

2 This is where Kyou should wittily reply,I was born this way.

3 Since when does Shigure say anything deep and meaningful? Yuki

4 So what happens now? Another suitcase another home. So what happens now? You'll find a way you always have before. Where am I going? Don't ask any more. Random Evita moment.

5 In researching titles here I found the title Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World : The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex. Romance, and Eternal Love. My friend Miriam suggested the title here, A Natural History of Love and Lust: Author of the National Bestseller "Life as a Prison Inmate"  LOL!


	8. Chapter 7 What Kind of Love?

Disclaimer, I do not own fruitsbasket.

Thanks to all you ppl who read fanfic on Christmas, last update was my present to you.

midori: Thanks

Prozacfairy: I'm glad you think it's cute, the ending will be relatively happy.

RakkiBakkas: Thanks for the long review, those are the best, and I'm glad you found my story intriguing.

Polka dot: My cats have some kind of pink hairless spots on their bellies, maybe mine are just freaks.

M-python-girl: I definitely deserve those religious fanatics, sorry.

xxmoonlight-angelxx: I'm glad you like the story.

xiaoj: Glad you like that scene.

Aya: Thanks, for the sweet review, it's so nice to get compliments like that, I really hate English Class, but it's a slack-off class anyway, my teacher is this ancient lady in a wheelchair, I'm in an on level class with this ridiculous gay guy. Hooray, soon my days of high school english class will be over, and I move on to . . . college lit and writing courses! hopefully.

Chapter 7: What Kind of Love?

As it turned out, Kyou's ankle had healed properly (Once Hatori could finally go and check on it) and Hatori permitted him to go to school on the condition that he not get in any fights, climb any roofs, or jump from any windows.

In addition to Yuki and he being on good terms, the news of his ankle having healed brightened Kyou's mood immensely. Kyou was quickly back to his fiery self.

Hey Kyon! Uo shouted to Kyou in the class room. Is the poor little cat-lover well enough to be in school.Well enough to beat you, Yankee.Oh really?Any day of the week, any time, I bet I could even beat you in any dimension.He's gotten cocky while he was away hasn't he?Not cocky, honest.I'll take you right now.Sure, but hand-to-hand, no lead pipes.I got you, I'm no bully, I know how to fight fair.Alright, you're on.

Both of them took battle stances, Uo regally towering over Kyou, arms tensed before her, placed crossing her chest, ready to hit. Kyou stood in a position complimentary to Uo's, crouching, hands already curled into fists, body prepared to pounce at his prey.

Already the other students were circling around them, buzzing with excitement.

Slowly a spark lit in each of their eyes and the exchanged knowing smiles.

Chill out, Tiger(#1), we'd better calm down, we wouldn't want to worry our little Tohru now would we?No, I don't think we would. Tohru, don't work yourself up over us.Oh! . . . well . . . no, I'm fine really . . .It's good to have you back, Kyon.

()()()()()

Everything went pretty much back to normal, Kyou went back to school (happily even), and put all his energy back into research and his job (thankfully his boss took him back after all that time off, although that might have been the influence of the Sohma name). Yuki even weaseled his way out of some of his student council duties to help Kyou with his research.

Yuki and Kyou would spend hours together in the library at school doing web searches, even longer when they would go to the city library and sift though ancient books on folklore. Kyou had already done most of the research himself in the previous two months, much to Yuki's surprise.

Kyou had systematically researched ancient myths of Chinese and Japanese origin, starting with the Cosmic Egg of China and the Floating World of the Japanese Ainu. As he continued his search he found that the thread that seemed to lead to the right direction was following the four chinese spiritual animals, the turtle, the unicorn/white tiger, the dragon, and the phoenix.

Kyou zeroed in on the spiritual animals and the stones of the zodiac animals. That lead him to two locations;

The first was Kitora tomb in the Nara Prefecture of Japan, which was said to hold the first image of the zodiac and have images of each of the legendary creatures in the four directions, north, south, east, and west. The part of that location which really intrigued Kyou, although, was the picture of the zodiac calendar he found, there was something about it that drew him in. Across the deep red brown of the circular calendar was an arc of the purest orange, Kyou was pretty sure it was exactly the color of his fur in his cat form, and there was a wispy quality that suggested that it held some sort of secret, a word or symbol, something; it's odd, striking contrast reminded him so much of the spirit in side him, the glaring anomaly of the zodiac.

The second was the tomb of Prince Zanghuai in the Quanling tomb of Xian, China. This location held little about the legendary animals, only the Phoenix was directly indicated. The one thing that had drawn Kyou to it was the story of Prince Zanghuai, a prodigy, the most talented of his siblings, who was hated by his mother. The prince's name was Li Xian, and he had revealed a secret of the Han dynasty that Wu Zetian, the empress, saw as a challenge to her power. She had him exiled, and he died at 31. The story reminded him of Yuki, the privileged one, who was hated. Kyou felt that there was a lot more to the story, that he needed to find out.

Earlier Kyou had tried simple genealogy records to connect him to either of the sites, but the Sohma records, were well hidden. The records library was unable to show him the oldest records, as the Sohma family records were privileged files that could only be viewed by presenting a document signed by, guess who, the family head. What's more, when he asked the records library for this information and was refused, the secretary alerted him that she had to take time out of her day (what a tragedy) to call to proprietor of the Sohma records and tell him that someone had attempted to access the records. Well, Kyou wasn't going to have that, because without a doubt Akito would find out if that chain of events occurred. Before Kyou could flee, the secretary demanded his name for her records, and of course, Kyou shouted, Hell no! He started running, but it was too late, she had already pressed the call button for security, Kyou ran straight into a pair of security guards. Unfortunately he was caught and forced to give a name, he thought of giving a fake name, but he knew Akito would find out, and someone in the family would pay, guilty or innocent, so he didn't lie.

Akito was yet to confront Kyou about the records, and Kyou was in no hurry for him to.

Since he couldn't research a genetic link to the Prince or a relative from the Nara Prefecture, he looked for a connection between the current zodiac curse and the history of the two locations.

This is where Kyou had Yuki help him.

Yuki had spend many years previous educating himself about the junishi, and his research had reflected his hatred for Kyou. He had been focused on the exclusion of the cat from the zodiac and was extremely knowledgeable on the four palaces and the cat's exclusion from all of them.

Kyou had decided to take a very simplistic view on the zodiac, devoid of the legend of the cat and mouse.

The two of them first looked among the current family to see which of them resembled the four legendary animals to consider if they would serve a purpose in removing the curse.

Since in some cases the unicorn took the form of the white tiger they considered it to resemble Kisa the most. Hatori was obviously the dragon, Kureno the phoenix (being the only bird in the zodiac), but who was the turtle?

The first thought of course for the turtle was Tohru, she had become an extremely important to them and it seemed that she would play a key element in removal of the curse. There was also a legend of a lake where a turtle was the keeper of the sword, the sword could symbolize destruction, but it could also symbolize a revolution for the Sohma.

The second was Ayame, the turtle's legends were so inextricably mixed with the snake that he couldn't be discounted as the turtle however unlikely it seemed.

The third was Akito, the more modern visions of the turtle included descriptions such as; dark lord, with wild unruly dark hair, dressed in primitive clothing (Akito's vintage kimono), capable of powerful punishments and redemptive deliverance(that part sounded like Tohru).

They had a second theory for the relationship between the family and the legends.

That related to the story of the Cosmic Egg, deciding the roles of P'an-ku and the Yin and Yang of the egg.

One version was that Akito was P'an-ku and that Kureno, Hatori, Ayame, and Kisa were the guardians that accompanied him.

Next that Akito was the Yin of the egg and Tohru the Yang, The two of them accompanying parts of the world created for the junishi.

After that, the same version, but with P'an-ku not representing the living world, but a being that connected the two halves, represented by Kyou.

The final version, the most frightening and repugnant of them all to Yuki and Kyou, even more so than the previous two was that Kyou and Akito were the two halves of the egg and Tohru was P'an-ku, the leader for the rest of the junishi.

In the end, all their theories weren't much to go on, but it was some sort of conclusion and something to go on when they journeyed to the two sites.

()()()()()

So Tohru, how did it go?Yeah we're just dying to know.You mean, what you said about the flirting?Well I did what you guys said with lowering my voice, evening my inflections, batting my eyelashes, and wearing the makeup you guys gave me.So what happened.Nothing much. He smiled at me, but when I gave him that line he made this funny face.

Uo laughed, Oh ho, so you scared the Prince, huh.Scared him?Oh no. Tohru's face fell.

It's all right Tohru, you surprised him is all. What did I tell you Uo, utterly clueless, we're going to need to work from both sides if we want this to go smoothly.Well, to do that Tohru would have to choose one of her suitors.Yes Tohru, have you made your decision?

Tohru paused a moment, closed her eyes and took a deep breath,Yes, I've chosen Yuki.Guess denpa didn't win out over good old woman's intuition this time, huh? But I am surprised I didn't expect her to choose so quickly.Hold on, we we're betting on on Tohru's final decision weren't we? Uo replied indulgently.

So Tohru, you're sure, Yuki's the one?Uh huh, Yuki is my choice. I think, although, Kyou is very handsome, and it's really cute when he gets excited about something. Oh, and he has an amazing smile . . . Tohru gazed off into the distance while her face took on a spaced-out, dreamy look.

Hana sighed, Still undecided.Yeah, it was too good to be true.Tohru this might help you decide, I know you do so much for Yuki and Kyou, but what do each of them do for you?

Tohru took a moment to think about it.

Yuki is always so sweet to me, he's most always thoughtful, and he gives me the nicest compliments, even though it's embarrassing sometimes. Kyou, he has so much energy and he always inspires me and encourages me to be more bold and stand up for myself.She's really got it bad.And with two guys.Well, should we continue with the plan anyway?Might as well, no use in arresting progress.Alright Tohru, so here's what you do . . . So how are we doing financially Kyou?Well so far from what I've earned at my job I have enough for the train tickets and lodging for Kitora, and nearly enough for the plane tickets to Xian. So I should be able to come up with the rest by spring, and whatever I don't I suppose I could borrow from Shishou or Shigure, and If that doesn't work I'll figure something out.Have you bought the tickets for Kitora yet?Well when are you going to do it!

Kyou looked at Yuki gravely.

I have to talk to Kagura first.Oh . . .

They both were silent.

I'd forgotten about that. Yuki said solemnly. (#2)

Yeah, I guess I'll go by her place tomorrow.Are you insane? . . . She'll kill you.Well, I don't have a choice.I'll go with you.No . . . Kyou started hesitantly, . . .you don't have to come.

Yuki stared at Kyou in disbelief, You want to face Kagura on your own? Do you want to die? Of course I'm going, who'll lead this expedition if you get killed this early in the game?No, really, it's alright.Kyou? What's wrong? Are you angry with me or something?Of course not! Damnit! But I can't just let you bail me out of everything!I won't be there to bail you out,' I'll just be there for support, if you need it; besides, it's been a while since I've seen Kagura.

Kyou remained quiet for a moment, seeming satisfied.

It's weird, you being so nice to me.

Yuki couldn't think of a response.

It's okay you don't have to worry about it, it's just strange.

Yuki took a moment to consider it, true, the whole situation was strange for them. Kyou and Yuki were in his room, Yuki's room being a bit more lived in and comfortable, and they were laying on the bed. Yuki's head was perched precariously on the edge of the bed, one forearm dangling over the edge, his fingers drawing patterns on the floor. Kyou lay a foot away next to him, hands resting calmly on his rising and falling abdomen while he stared at the ceiling.

_Perpetually opposite_, Yuki mused,

I understand what you mean.

So, we'll go up to Kagura's tomorrow, the sooner the better right?Yeah, together. Kyou replied.

It's new for us. Yuki said slowly, in a low voice, exhaling at the end.

Mmmhmm.' Kyou affirmed softly, matching Yuki's tone, his eyelids drooping.

Yuki pushed himself back and turned to look at Kyou. Kyou's red irises gleamed beneath heavy tanned eyelids with delicate orange eyelashes, searching the mark less ceiling. Yuki admitted to himself that Kyou was handsome. but the rest of his cousins were equally attractive , there was something special about Kyou that no one else had. Yuki could begin to see Kyou through Tohru and Kagura's eyes, why they were so enamored by him, it wasn't even his looks or his boundless energy, it was his presence.

_I couldn't even see it that day because I was soo angry, but that first day he came to school he drew such a crowd, such curiosity and intrigue. Haru and Momiji didn't even draw the same kind of attention that he had. I used to be so jealous of that, it was something I thought made him more normal, but it's really something that makes him unique, that's helped him to survive._

Kyou was busy thinking and worrying about the task he was to face the next day. How would he talk to Kagura?

_Maybe if I called before I went Kagura wouldn't have time to calm herself down, unless that made her more excited. O.K. maybe if I told her about the plan first over the phone, or, even better, if I sent someone else there in my place, but then she'd probably get mad at me for not telling her in person. Maybe if I get her a gift, like a stuffed animal, maybe she'd spent all her destructive energy on it instead of me. Nah, she'd never run outta energy. Eureka! What if I did something really romantic, like . . . make-out with her when she opened the door, then she'd be too shocked to beat me. But then she'd probably expect me to do that all the time . . ._

Yuki saw a frown cross Kyou's face, What are you thinking about?

Kyou said, blatantly honest as usual, Making out with Kagura.What did you say! Yuki sat up abruptly, staring at Kyou incredulously.

Kyou went red-faced and sat up too.

Why the hell were you thinking about making out with Kagura!Why the hell are you yelling at me! I can think about making out with Kagura if I damn well please! Besides, what wrong with me resigning to my fate and accepting the only person I might have a future with? I thought you'd be happy, you make it pretty damn obvious that Ive got no chance with Tohru, when she's could choose you!Where did that come from?You tell me. Kyou took a deep breath,

I was thinking about kissing Kagura to keep her from going into her insane love/attack mode as soon as she sees me tomorrow. Yuki replied,

I'm sorry,

I shouldn't have taken that tone.

It's just that I don't think I'm interested in Tohru, and after that day Momiji came I didn't think you were interested in Kagura or Tohru either. Kyou started cautiously,

I guess, I'm not really interested in Tohru anymore, I think I wanted Tohru because I thought that's what I was suppose to do after she had done so much for me.

Yuki snickered, Kyou, you're so dumb. I've known that since that day, and I've known that I'm in love with you.

Yuki immediately pressed his lips to Kyou's and reached his hands up to stroke his fingers through Kyou's hair, he pressed on and took one slow sweep of Kyou's mouth with his tongue before pulling away. He faced Kyou with an anxious smile, waiting fro Kyou to return his affections.

Kyou sat in a sate of statue-like frozen shock, his eyes wider than they had ever been and his mouth hanging slightly open from his saliva exchange with Yuki. He didn't move for a whole minute.

SMACK echoed through the house.

Kyou's open hand had connected with the side of Kyou's face, sending his whole body directly to the mattress. Yuki's cheek was already reddening from the bruise Kyou's blow would leave behind.

Kyou sat a moment longer, still awestruck, before dashing from the room. Kyou went to his room before he realized he was desperately in need of a toothbrush. In the bathroom he brushed frantically, trying to rid himself of any weird Yuki cooties' he may have contracted from the kiss. He used a whole bottle of mouthwash rinsing out the corrupted orifice.

In the meantime, Yuki had recovered from the slap and was furiously marching out of his room, he headed toward the bathroom beckoned by the sounds of frantic gargling.

What was that slap for! Yuki shouted, hurling his words at the closed door.

You kissed me! You sick freak nezumi!What about you coming to my room and snugging up next to me in my bed . . .

()

Shigure and Tohru had heard the sounds of Yuki and Kyou shouting during the first round in Yuki's room and had relocated themselves to the staircase for the second round. Shigure had made popcorn for the show and had the phone to his ear, relaying the whole situation to Ha'ri and Aya via a three-way call.

Are you sure we should be watching this? Tohru asked.

Of course Tohru, don't worry, if they didn't want anyone to hear, they'd do their arguing in private, speaking in hushed tones. Besides, this is the fundamental domestic entertainment, we are simply paying homage to our ancient forefathers who had no other entertainment than to watch lovers' squabbles in their own homes. It would be a crime to ignore this phenomenal reincarnation of ancient entertainment. We must celebrate by giving them our undivided attention.

Ayame's voice could be heard through the receiver, Shigure, what's happening?Well apparently, while they were in Yuki's room, Yuki kissed Kyou and Kyou responded by slapping him. 

The kiss or the slap?I don't know, hang on, Yuki's saying something about Kyou being in his bed. . . . and what about all those naps you asked me to take with you in your bed. But ignoring all that, what about when you kissed me on the cheek!I was just being friendly!If that's you being friendly', what do you do with people you don't know, hold hands with strangers!I don't have to take this shit from you!  
Kyou, having cleansed his mouth as thoroughly as humanly possible, burst out of the bathroom, hands balled in to fists. He glared at Yuki.

Yes, you do have to take this from me! So you'd better shut-up and listen. I don't care if you're attracted to me, or homophobic, or what, but if you don't want to be with me, stop fucking flirting around!You've got some nerve! I was an idiot for ever thinking I could trust you.

Kyou exited to the roof while he still had the last word, a small victory among all the losses. Yuki retreated to his room solemnly.

()

. . . now Kyou has run off to the roof and Yuki's gone to his room.I guess that proves our suspicions correct, eh Hatori? Aya started, . . . Oh . . . yes . . . I'm here, sorry, I was lulled to sleep by all the mindless chatter.

Ayame scolded Hatori while explaining the story to him, laughing through the whole thing. Shigure would have joined in if he hadn't seen the look of worry on Tohru's face.

Tohru? Are you alright? You don't have to worry about those two, Tohru they'll be okay. Tohru?I . . . but they looked so hurt. I have to make sure that they're alright.

Kyou . . . Tohru looked toward the window as if she were about to follow him, but then stopped herself, Yuki . . . she said turning towards his bedroom door.

Shigure placed a hand on her arms to stop her, Of all the things you've been able to help them with, this is one thing that they need to solve for themselves, in no time they'll be the happy couple they always were.

For the first time, Shigure's use of the word couple' bothered her.

Tohru nodded and went downstairs to the kitchen and Shigure returned to his phone call.

Oh our poor little flower, she gets too worried about all of us, especially those two.

()()

Kyou had left the roof, deciding it was far too close to Yuki's room. He had relocated to a tree in the wood behind the house.

_Damnit_

Damnit Damnit Damnit Damnit Damnit

Damn it all to hell.

. . .

How the fuck did this happen? How did I get in this fucking situation?

I know how it happened. I went to far . . . Yuki's right, why did I do those things if I didn't want it to happen, . . .

_No! No way in hell! I was just being nice, I just wanted to show him how much he, No, what he did meant to me. I wasn't inviting him to fuck me!_

Kyou frowned in disgust at the thought.

God damnit! Why does every guy in this family have to be fucking straight as a rainbow and every girl fucking sane as a loon.

_Shit!_

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Double Shit!

Yes I know, What the hell is doubleshit'? Who the fuck says doubleshit'? I say doubleshit!

DOUBLE FUCKING SHIT!Damn Yuki, damn him being a faggot just as I started liking him, just when I started to give a damn about the stupid rat . . .

What do I do now?

Kyou felt used, so utterly damaged and worthless. And numb, like his heart had been abused so many times that it stopped working. He desperately wanted to feel something.

He gripped the branched of the tree so hard that his knuckles turned white and his palms burned. When that sensation wasn't enough he jumped down from the tree and balled his hands into fists.

Kyou punched into the tree trunk, first with just the right fist, experimenting to see how it would feel. The stimulation of the punch was enough to rid him of the numbness, so he went at the tree as if it were a punching bag. Punching nonstop, as if it would save his life, Kyou continued, until his knuckles were sore and bleeding and the bark was chipping off the tree. He would have continued, but decided he didn't want to pick a king size splinter out of his knuckles later.

He went back into the house and cleaned the blood off his hands in the bathroom,. Then he quietly went to his room to get a blanket and a pillow and he set up a pallet to sleep on the back porch, not caring that it was winter.

()()()

Yuki was angry, not his normal, I'm-so-pissed-I'm-just-going-to-smile angry,but I've-never- been-this-angry-in-my-life angry. Not only was he not going to get any, but he had officially fucked up his relationship with Kyou.

And it definitely was not his fault.

_Kuso Baka Neko! To imagine that I changed myself, my whole mindset for that stupid redheaded jerk! I gave him everything I could give! I comforted him when he was having those nightmares about Akito, I took care of him when he sprained his ankle. I endured the candy striper ridicule for him, I gave him space when he needed it, I went to him when he needed me. We worked together, we napped together, we dreamed together. We had two weeks of bliss together. I thought I was in, I thought I was his, I thought he and I were a we.'_

I thought he loved me.

And I was rejected.

I, the prized one, the rat, the prince, was rejected by the stupid, forsaken, despised, cursed, beautiful, lovable, energetic, ecstacy-to-be-around, cat.

This was not how it was supposed to happen.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

We were supposed to fall in love and steal kisses when no one is watching and get teased by Ayame and Shigure and wake up next to each other in the morning and not want to get out of bed because it it just feels soo good having him in my arms and remember stupid little things about each other like what his favorite ice cream is and whether he likes it in a milkshake or a cone or in a bowl with a spoon, and whether he likes it straight from the freezer or half melted into a puddle and celebrate one week anniversaries, and one month anniversaries, and special anniversaries that no one else knows about just because I want to do something special for him and even grow old together and still love him and think he's the most beautiful and charming thing on earth even though he's wrinkled and senile.

But it won't be that way,

I was rejected.

How the hell did this happen?

What do I do now?

Tears rolled rapidly down Yuki's cheeks, running together under his chin . He felt too defeated to take the effort to wipe away the tears. It got hard for Yuki to breathe as the tears fell more rapidly. When his breathing was quickened to just short gasps, his exhaling became sobbing, something Yuki hadn't done since he was a kid. Yuki dove into his blankets and buried his face into his pillow to stifle the sound of his sobs, unable to control his breathing, so that no one would hear him. It was uncomfortable, and the blankets over his head made it difficult to fill his lungs with fresh air, but he didn't move, it didn't matter if he stopped breathing, he didn't have anything left to live for.

()()()

Tohru was in the kitchen, sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. Her knees were drawn to her chest and there were tears trailing down her face.

()()()

_What is peace?_

Peace is a full stomach satisfied by the finest home cooked meal you have ever eaten.

Peace is a quiet evening devoid of fighting and home depreciating damage.

Peace is a juicy piece of gossip to share with your two best friends.

Peace is a night filled with pleasant dreams of passionate make-up sex.

Peace is waking up slowly and luxuriously from a restful nights sleep.

Yeah, a little bit of peace was nice every once in a while.  
  
Shigure mused while he awoke the next morning, dreading having to climb out of his bed and end his peace.

_Of course, a bit of chaos was always fun._

()()()

Tohru had risen bright and early, as usual to prepare breakfast.

_How could I have been so blind not to realize?_

Maybe I really am that clueless like Hana and Uo said.

I really should have been ready for it, with all those comments that Shigure makes about them.

I should have noticed how close the were getting after I asked Kyou to go to Yuki.

I mean I really thought Kyou or Yuki would be the one for me, I could never really picture it, but in my mind it was the logical progression . . .

In my dreams, I wished that I would never have to make that decision, that we could live forever in this spring adolescence, young and innocent, three best friends, close in a way that I never could have with Hana and Uo.

In a more, sentimental, sweet and lasting way, in a kind of perfectly satisfying forever.

Like, those last three candies in a tin that are hopelessly stuck to the bottom, they're there forever together no matter how hard you try to pull them out, and every time you open the tin to look at them solemnly and make another attempt at pulling them apart, they shine in the light, forever a testament to their steadfastness.

They are happy, the three of them, even in the times when no one else wants them and they are in the dark, and are a brilliant example to all those who might desire them.

I guess it's silly to think that way, it's stupid to be sentimental like that, to imagine that three people could be together forever.

It's only twos that win, right?

Two's company, three's a crowd.

Tear's started falling again from Tohru's eyes

I guess they never, Tohru gulped down a breath of air, needed me, the way that I, another hiccup of an inhale, needed them. The last word tore from Tohru's lips accompanied a sob that surprised Tohru.

The next two sobs came in rapid succession before Tohru could hold them back, the she tensed herself willing them away.

This is no time to cry, she scolded herself in a shaking, barely controlled voice, Im sure Mom had it much worse, Another sob burst from Tohru's throat, **I've** had it much worse before. She added, coercing her lungs into taking slow, deep breaths without hiccuping.

Tohru leaned against the fridge for support still needing great effort to control her breathing.

I can get through this.

She had to repeat it two more times before she could calm herself down enough to resume making breakfast.

()()() __

Yuki was still extremely, frustrated, annoyed, etc. (there aren't enough words to describe it) from yesterday, but he had come to a conclusion;

The mission was of utmost importance,

He couldn't allow what had happened between them to impede Kyou's plan, someone had to keep hope alive for a cure for the Sohma.

So Yuki would continue to help, even if Kyou didn't want him to.

Starting today, with the trip to Kagura's house.

And Yuki would pretend that his subconscious didn't have an ulterior motive of helping out just so Yuki could be near Kyou.

So that morning Yuki made a phone call to the main house.

()()()

Hatori came to Shigure's house shortly after breakfast that morning.

Breakfast, like dinner the night before had been unusually quiet, which still, for Shigure at least, was a welcome deviation from the norm, so he ate his breakfast (which was perhaps more scrumptious than the night before) happily, only occasionally poking fun at Yuki and Kyou.

When Hatori arrived Yuki went out to meet him in the driveway.

Yuki called, and when Kyou didn't answer, Baka Neko!

Shortly after that an irritated Kyou appeared.

Are you coming with us? Yuki asked in an annoyed tone, Or are you going to walk to Kagura's house?

Kyou glared at Yuki and then averted his eyes in thought.

He brought his eyes back to meet Yuki's and then slowly walked around and climbed in the opposite side of the car.

Yuki got in the car as well, and Hatori sighed to himself before getting in the driver's seat.

They started off.

Kyou made the first move, his strategy: be one step ahead keep the upper hand, eclipse Yuki, make him less than nonexistent,

So Hatori, how have you been lately? Work hasn't been too busy, has it?

_Why is Kyou suddenly taking an interest in my work?_

Yes, Hatori you haven't had too many patients lately, have you?

Kyou hits the ball again,

But you're sure to be swamped soon with the winter coming.

Yuki cut in quickly before Hatori had the chance to reply this time,

Of course, with flu season coming and all the viruses and infections that thrive during winter it must be difficult.

Now as enjoyable it was to watch Yuki and Kyou's relationship from afar (and it was despite Hatori's stoic behavior), Hatori really didn't want to be thrust right into the middle of their fight, the battle got old real quick.

Kyou's hit,

Akito's health must be especially poor in the winter as well, was it a bad season for you last year? To the contrary . . .

Yuki's hit,

I'm sure the summer months are much worse with all the allergy problems that come up.No, it has to be the harsh winter, that hides the viruses, it's truly evil nature.The summer! Luring you into thinking it's a happy season with it's bright flowers who's pollen cause horrible sympt- . . .Enough, If you two want to argue, leave me out of it, or else I'm leaving you here.

The rest of the car ride was silent.

()()()

When they arrived at Kagura's house Hatori gave them instructions to call the main house when they needed a ride home and then headed back.

Kyou made his way to Kagura's front door, Yuki followed, keeping a wary two paces behind.

Kyou knocked on the door, and the two waited for Kagura to answer, then came the sound of footsteps, the door creaking open and . . .

KYOUUU . . .Well, are you going to do it? Yuki challenged with a grin.

Kyou returned it with a smirk of his own, Of course.Hello Kagura. Kyou swiftly stepped closer to Kagura and pressed his lips gently to hers while his hand came to rest on her waist, curling possessively around toward to small of her back. As swiftly as he has approached he pulled back, ending the kiss after a few precious seconds.

Kyou turned back to Yuki with a grin, seeking approval.

Yuki smiled back,

You didn't say kiss, you said make-out, a make-out entails something significantly longer and more intense than that.

Both boys broke into a long bout of laughter, leaving Kagura staring on in utter confusion. As their laughter died down the boys entered the house,

It's good to see you Kagura. Kyou said as he passed, the mirth still audible in his tone.

Yes, it's a pleasure to be in your company again. Yuki added stepping over the threshold.

Kagura followed, still slightly dumbfounded by the encounter.

What's going on guys?Well, I just wanted to visit, and Kyou wanted to ask you something.It's nice to have you over Yun-chan, it has been a while, Kagura said, embracing Yuki in a friendly hug, And I'm always happy to see my Kyou-kun, That frightening gleam flashed in Kagura's eyes as she looked in his direction, Especially when he greets me in such a sweet way. She began closing in on Kyou.

Yuki started laughing again, Ano, Kagura-chan, that was my fault, I dared him to do it.

Kagura looked bewildered again for a moment, but then encircled Kyou in a crushing hug, Aww, thank you Yun-chan that's so sweet of you when you know my Kyou would be too bashful to initiate something like that.

Kagura smiled sweetly at Yuki while continuing to crush Kyou, and Kyou half-glared at Yuki, he was in too much pain to give the full effect.

Kagura, would you happen to have any snacks we could eat while we talked?Of course! Kagura dashed off to the kitchen. _Snacks for Kyou-kun, my Kyou-kun and Yun-chan_

Well, I guess that wasn't as bad as usual, she hasn't thrown me around the room yet.And it only cost you a kiss, Yuki said in a bitter tone, What the hell did you just call me? Kyou started in a warning voice.

They're argument was halted when Kagura returned, It's so good to see you two getting along. Kagura had brought a tray of tea and cookies, the cookies, of course, were shaped like cat faces, and several of them had been crushed, no doubt by the force of Kagura lovingly placing them on the plate.

So what were you guys laughing about earlier?

Yuki and Kyou glanced at each other before Kyou answered, It was nothing Kagura.Okay, okay, keep your joke to yourselves.' Kagura said jovially, punctuating it with a pout.

So, Kyou what did you want to ask me?Do you remember when I told you that I never knew what I was meant to be? That I didn't know the reason I was alive because I just seemed like a burden to everyone?

I want to prove that I can be of service to the family, that I am worth more than something for them to hate.

I'm going to find a cure for the curse, and I wanted to ask if you would help me.

Will you go on a journey with me, Tohru, and Yuki this spring to find a cure for the curse? Kagura crushed him in another hug, Of course I will Kyou, you know I'd do anything for you. Oh I'm soo proud of you Kyou-kun, you're so smart and cute and . . . wait, when did you think of this plan? . . . Last . . . summer. Kyou choked out. 

Why didn't you tell me about this sooner! Kagura's rage had finally surfaced, she bent Kyou backwards into a full bridge before he could blink an eye. The punishment didn't last too long only about thirty seconds of agonizing pain before Kagura could control herself.

I'm sorry Kyou, I just wish you had told me sooner so that I could have been of more help. Kagura apologized sheepishly.

Yeah right. Kyou mumbled.

So that's why you and Yun-chan came over. Kagura smiled, What good news to hear, and I was thinking this was going to be a dull Sunday.

So, where will we be going on this journey?

Kyou and Yuki spent the rest of the afternoon filling in Kagura on the details of the plan. They left her house in a much better mood than when they arrived.

Goodbye Yuki,

And Kyou, allow me to return the favor.

Kagura stepped within an inch of Kyou's face and raised her lips slightly to touch Kyou's, she snaked an arm around his neck to pull him further into the kiss, her kiss was a deal more passionate than Kyou's, melding their lips together with her fire. Kyou remained still through the whole ordeal not struggling at all.

Yuki stared on while jealousy creeped into his mind, fleetingly giving him the idea of thrusting Kagura out of the way and taking her place.

Kagura pulled away and happily said goodbye to Kyou, holding Yuki back as Kyou walked to the car.

Thanks you soo much for taking care of Kyou when I can't be there, Kagura whispered in Yuki's ear as she hugged him goodbye, I can see that he really is starting to put his faith in you.

_Yeah right_, Yuki thought to himself, _Kyou doesn't trust me as far as Tohru could through me_.

Then she sent Yuki on his way and waved to three of them as they drove off.

_That's not the way Kyou used to respond when I kiss him . . .  
_  
()()()

()

() ()

#1 Spiderman fans will recognize this allusion, the name that Mary Jane often called Peter Parker by the original comic series.

#2 This is where I wanted Yuki to say, God luck Kyou, don't worry, you're a strong guy, you'll recover. but Yuki never gets to say funny, snippy stuff like that.

Well, that's it, I was going to include a discussion between Tohru and Kyou back at the house, but I'll save that for next chapter.

Don't forget, festival season is coming, maybe Kyou will wear that dress . . .

So is NewYear's . . .

Tell me how ya like that chapter, or hate the chapter, flame, review, threaten, whatev.


	9. Chapter 8 Falling in Love with Love

Look I put in pagebreaks and everything, so people better read it this time damnit! 

Disclaimer; I do not own fruitsbasket or the title "Falling in Love with Love" that's all Roger and Hammerstein's

A/N: Scroll down to the bottom and click 'submit review' button. Leave that window open just put it to the side of your desktop. Scroll back up to the top. When you see the '+' take a minute to see if you have any questions or comments and jot them down.

This chapter I give special thanks to my new beta Ivy Frasca/Callier/Corrupted Phoenix/Rakki-Bakkas/PoisonIvyChick she amazing! Everyone love her! This chapter dedicated to her even.

Chapter 8: Falling in Love with Love

Akito woke in the night, in pain. He glared at the stars, dressed in gracefully slouching robes as his body tingled. It was the good sort of pain though, just an eerie sort of sickness, the kind of pain that you knew there was more to, the nagging sort of annoyance of a pain. Akito knew this sort of pain all too well; these were empathic pains, the pain that sat in Akito's poor, ill little gut. It was all the fault of the "pets", those disgusting creatures.

Akito liked this pain; it made him happy. He would soon be able to exercise his power in one way or another. Pain meant change, for the worse or for the better Akito did not know, nor did it matter as long as he would be in the action. Long gone were his strongest days when he won the big battles; keeping Yuki at the main house, protecting Hatori from being taken away from him by Kana, keeping Shigure on the Sohma lands. He did not fool himself; he knew his days were coming to an end, for that was the reason he had allowed so many changes in the last three years. For now the family would continue to believe that it was simply leniency or, dare they think, kindness; or at the worst, he was going senile.

In truth, he was preparing for death. He had known of his mortality from his first moment of self-consciousness, but he had never been prepared. His demise had been planned for, scheduled to a T from what he knew of it, but now for what he felt would be his last eighteen months of his life he was ready for what little life he had left, finally able to accept death. That is why he was abdicating his power to Shigure and Tohru, to leave the family with fond memories of his kindness.

The first years of their reign would be marked with happiness attributed to Akito, or his death; it mattered not which as long as he was accredited in memory. Of course their empire would fall like so many well-intentioned utopian societies of centuries past; they would be blamed for the dissolution of the once-great Sohma family and the pain their rule would cause. When that happened, long dead, he would smile in his grave as the family spoke of how much better life had been when he was around and how treacherous the life of the family was because of Kyou and Tohru.

He could already feel the grin on his face, but it was still cold. It was not true happiness because his heart wrenched with the pain he knew each of his pets would experience in these days of the future he dreamed of. That was a sad thought, too, that his only happiness would be derived from pain and even then it would never be true contentment. Nonetheless pain was what he had, pain was what he could be thankful for, pain was what he would fondly remember, and pain was what he would look forward to in his future. So he would smile, smile and wait. + 

Shigure's house held less tension that night. Shigure, Tohru, and Kyou were relaxed and at peace, ready to settle down for bed. Yuki on the other hand was still pissed and confused. He didn't know what terms he was on with Kyou. Kyou hadn't forgiven him, he knew, and he knew it would be sometime before he could regain Kyou's trust, otherwise Kyou wouldn't have slept that night in Tohru's room, using her as a human watchdog to ward off the rat.

As Yuki thought it over again for the millionth time he made a conclusion. What it really came down to was, what did Kyou want?

It was not what Yuki wanted, or what he did right, or what he did wrong, or whether Kyou was gay or straight, or whether or not he was attracted to Yuki. In the end it was Kyou's choice, his decision, if he wanted Yuki to be more to him than his nemesis.

That was what mattered, whether Kyou wanted him, the rat, the one he'd hated for all those years. There had been more between them in those past four months, more than they'd had in all the time they had known each other. They became more than just cousins and rivals. They had been confidants, friends; they had been intimate.

From that night when they had shared scars, pasts, a common fear, they'd had a different relationship. Kyou had come to trust Yuki even before Yuki had fathomed putting his trust in Kyou. He had gone to Yuki for comfort and had trusted Yuki not to betray his weakness to his enemies and in the end Yuki had been trustworthy. Despite that Kyou challenged Yuki's trust mercilessly it was as if he had seen straight into Yuki's mind and heart, seen that fear that was not meant for him to see, to be hurt by words yet to be spoken, treachery yet to be committed. That had forced all the dissonant thoughts; Yuki's fears, uncertainties, fantasies to the surface of his consciousness. It had made Yuki think, think of what value he placed in Kyou, evaluate and realize how little cause he had given Kyou to trust him, and yet he did anyway. He realized he wanted that trust, that love, and that nothing else would satisfy him like Kyou could.

And as he began to welcome that idea he was tested again. Kyou became injured, ill, weak and depressed. For the first time Yuki cared; he tried to help Kyou and he was rejected, pushed away. When he was denied that first time he stopped trying, wallowed in self-pity. Shigure told him not to give up, but he stagnated battling within his own mind when he should have been there with Kyou, trying to get through to him. If Momiji had not come it would have been a lost cause.

Then Kyou welcomed him, Yuki, his support and his friend back into his arms and they were in bliss, honeymoon. Happiness, love, and warm feelings, sharing secrets, troubles, hopes; mutual respect, mutual love. They were protected and safe in an embrace, leaning on the arms of one another. That was peace and unity and happiness that had been made just for them.

And then Yuki had gotten this stupid notion of love, of being in love, like it was some great thing that had never happened before, something miraculous to happen between two boys, between a cat and a rat. And then, even worse, he went and got attached to the idea, fell in love with romance; it was safe, comfortable, lovely. It was love between male Zodiac members, long established, fabled as the only way for them to truly be understood and have a lasting, happy relationship. It was love between the cat and the rat, a perfect paradox, contradictorily beautiful. Therein was its flaw; it was too perfect, too lovable to work.

While he was 'in love', starry-eyed and stupid, he had made a dumb mistake. Lost and enchanted by being 'in love' he misinterpreted Kyou's words and actions; he had himself believing that Kyou was feeling the same way, thinking the same things, that he had fallen 'in love' with Yuki. So he made a brave, daring, stupid move; he kissed Kyou, full-on, boy x boy, open mouth kiss, very effectively scaring Kyou right out of Yuki's arms. It had been a misunderstanding and they were both upset; no, more like as murderous as black Haru.

As pissed off as Yuki was at Kyou, more than anything he wanted Kyou back. He knew he didn't deserve Kyou, who had put so much on the line, done so much for an idiot who ruined it all, who spoiled something so sweet and pure he had created with modern day notions of romance and love; it was unforgivable. Nevertheless he had to hope that he had another chance, that this was the third test. Yuki was running out of retakes; the first he had been too slow and the second too sure, too confident, too blind. He had to believe that this time he might pass and stop breaking Kyou's heart. Kyou had every right to give up on the dead-last dope too stupid to prove that he could be true to the one person he loved most. To survive Yuki had to believe that he wasn't already out of chances, that this time he would be able to make it up to Kyou after letting him down twice. + 

"Tohru, thanks."

"No problem, Kyou."

Tohru and Kyou were preparing for bed in Tohru's room. For modesty's sake Kyou had donned a pair of proper pajamas, a button-down nightshirt and long drawstring bottoms instead of his usual boxers and t-shirt.

"I'm just sorry that you and Yuki feel this way," Tohru admitted remorsefully. "It's so hard to watch you in so much pain."

Tohru sat beside Kyou on the bed, tilting her head thoughtfully in Kyou's direction careful of actually leaning her head on Kyou's shoulder for fear of an accidental hug. They had long since argued over who would take the bed. Tohru insisted that Kyou should take it, being the guest in her room, that it was only hospitable of her to insist he have it. Kyou argued that he had been the one to ask to spend the night and therefore couldn't possibly inconvenience Tohru further by taking her bed ("Stupid! I asked to stay in your room, I can't take your bed too."), and that the only chivalrous thing to do would be to take the floor himself ("You're a girl, you shouldn't sleep on the floor. If I can handle sleeping on rocks with Shishou I can handle one night on the floor! Besides, I sleep better on the floor anyway."). Tohru had won the argument with, "If I were the one asking to spend the night in your room you'd do the same for me, right?" She had said it with the smile that was always more than effective at destroying Kyou's resolve, and Kyou had replied silently with _Even then you'd never accept the offer._

"Why can't things be easier?" Tohru sighed unexpectedly into Kyou's shoulder.

"You're telling me. I wish I knew Tohru." Kyou leaned to the side, closing the distance between Tohru's head and his shoulder, throwing caution to the wind.

Surprised, Tohru breathed a soft "oh" and tilted her head further in, embraced by Kyou's neck and shoulder. Kyou, in turn, rested his head on Tohru's, far too absorbed in his own issues to wonder why she wanted things to be easier. Why did the pillar of strength who wanted to keep all her memories, good and bad, the one who felt that everyone had a reason to live despite the work it sometimes took to find it, would want things to be easier. Not Miss "Never Give Up!" It couldn't have happened; blasphemy.

So Kyou and Tohru just sat miserably and sighed at each other, finding comfort in the closest they could get to an embrace.

_Yuki, Yuki, Yuki_

Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki, Yuki

You're such an asshole.  
Without you, who do I have left?  
Who else can I tell those things?  
I needed you, you fucking asshole.

+  
+ As expected Kyou and Yuki's falling out had changed the household into a cold and tense place. Anytime Yuki gravitated toward Kyou, any small wanderings, even brushing against each other in hall, Kyou would become more removed, sequestering himself alone or with Tohru. It continued to hurt the both of them, taking an empathic toll on Shigure and Tohru as well. Kyou also continued to sleep in Tohru's room, infuriating Yuki.

One evening after dinner Yuki caught a glimpse of Kyou and Tohru in the kitchen cleaning up. One of them must have just said something funny, because the two of them were giggling, shoulder to shoulder, each clutching a dish, trying to calm themselves down enough to finish. They continued to grin at each other as the laughter subsided, until finally Tohru was drying the last dish and Kyou was draining the water from the sink. They turned and their eyes met, and all at once their laughter started again, wild and content, and continued as Tohru took Kyou's hand in hers and led him out of the kitchen. Yuki made as though he had been going to get a glass of water as he enviously watched Tohru leave with Kyou's hand in hers, managing a, "Goodnight, Yuki," between peals of laughter.

It was more than Yuki could stand.

Seeing Kyou laugh was such a marvelous thing and it was so bittersweet that it wasn't shared with him. It had reminded Yuki of a moment he'd had with Kyou just two weeks before.

Flashback

"Yuki?"

"Yeah Kyou?"

"Well, I've been trying to figure out why you like Tohru so much when there are so many other girls who are interested in you, and I thought it's not just because she's pretty, cause some girls that chase you are equally pretty; and it's not that she's really sexy because Tohru usually wears clothes that stay under the radar . . .

"So it must be because . . . You know you can beat her in Ping Pong," Kyou said with a grin.

It sent Yuki into a fit of giggles, instantly recalling an image of Tohru sternly brandishing a paddle. Kyou joined him shortly after, laughing powerfully, no longer able to suppress it as a snicker. Yuki's laughter had overwhelmed him; he was shaking, leaned over the table, his forehead pressed within the hollow of his folded arms.

They continued laughing for a long time, and Kyou had attempted to calm Yuki down by running his fingers through Yuki's hair because his laughter would start anew each time he heard one of Yuki's giggles.

End Flashback

Yuki cried.

He couldn't sit around anymore. If he wanted to pass this test it was time to act. + 

Yuki crept out of his room very early that next morning.

Since they had been sharing a room Yuki and Tohru had adjusted their sleep schedules, Kyou had started sleeping a bit later, not to wake Tohru up in the mornings, and Tohru, thinking that Kyou was sleeping later because he was upset and needed more rest began sleeping later as well. Both of them had started going to bed earlier so they wouldn't disturb each other. They really were a pair sometimes.

Even with the two of them sleeping later it was still too early for Yuki.

knock, knock 1

Yuki gently turned the knob on Tohru's door and entered the room.

The sun hadn't risen yet, so Tohru's room was bathed in twilight. Yuki was surprised to see two figures in Tohru's bed, comfortably sprawled among the quilts. Once Yuki had seen the two of them he felt a bit like a voyeur. Kyou had stretched the entire length of the bed, almost diagonally, facing away form Tohru, who was curled up behind him, almost nuzzled into his back. The way they lay so innocently, unashamedly, intimately, made Yuki feel bad about disturbing them. They looked so content; it was adorable, like a pair of kittens. Yuki almost couldn't feel jealous because they were so cute. Almost.

Yuki finally worked up the nerve and gently shook Kyou's shoulder. Kyou took a generous stretch, slightly jostling Tohru, before his eyes flashed open.

"Yuki . . .?" Kyou said sleepily rubbing his eyes. He sat up shaking off the sleep.

"What are you doing in here? . . . What do you want?" Kyou stood, his first words that morning sounding hoarse and colored with a bit of a whine at his displeasure of being awoken in an unusual way.

Kyou yawned and stretched again, reaching as high as he could with his arms, His chest filled and rose, his stomach lengthening and narrowing. Kyou rose to his toes, completing the stretch, before relaxing to his normal stature. Sleep had finally given up on reclaiming Kyou for itself, and Kyou was now giving Yuki an accusatory look.

"I want . . . I need to talk to you."

Kyou shot him an angry look and opened his mouth to shout at Yuki, but he stopped himself. His gaze became less angry, but more intense and searching. He resigned with a sigh and nodded an affirmative.

Yuki led Kyou out to the back porch, they both sat on down on the edge, looking to the left, where the sun was rising. Yuki quickly regretted going out there; with the sun rising as it was, and them sitting side by side instead of facing each other, it would be difficult to judge Kyou's reactions. On the other hand, if you thought about it, the setting was what most people would consider romantic. Of course Yuki had no time for thoughts like that, at least not yet.

Kyou was getting anxious. He wanted to tell Yuki to hurry up, but he didn't want to fight with Yuki, not after successfully avoiding it for so long. Kyou was getting that unsettling feeling that made him want to yell.

When Yuki got ready to speak his jealousy appeared and he wanted to say, "Well it looked like you and Tohru got pretty cozy," but he reprimanded himself for even thinking it. He knew that the position he saw them in was completely innocent, and that he had no reason to think he had any claim over Kyou anyway.

Finally he spoke up.

"Kyou . . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I should have apologized right then and there. I shouldn't have gotten angry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed . . . that you wanted the same thing I did. I was stupid and insensitive. 2

"I have so much remorse for what I've done. I've learned my lesson never to take things for granted. So I came to ask you two things. First, will you forgive me?"

Yuki wanted to look at Kyou. He wanted to meet Kyou's gaze, to have confidence and ask the question with his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to do it. His eyes remained lowered and he occasionally glanced toward the horizon.

Kyou hadn't expected an apology and didn't know if he could offer forgiveness. He was speechless, so he just let Yuki hear his thoughts.

"Yuki . . . I trusted you . . . What you did, it made me lose a lot of that trust in you . . ."

He glanced at Yuki slumped over, looking tiny, so young and forlorn. He looked as if he was clinging to his last hope; once he lost that he'd have nothing, be nothing. He'd fall down dead.

Kyou still didn't feel ready to give an answer. It would take so much for things to be right between them again. Yuki had really screwed it up, but then again, here he was, brutally honestly apologizing, and it meant a lot. He would rather have hugged Yuki at the moment to stop him from looking so sad, but that's not what Yuki needed.

"Yes . . . I can. I forgive you."

Yuki was a little surprised; Kyou had said those things and had been taking so long to answer. He had, Yuki had heard it. He really said 'I forgive you'.

_He really said it!_

The realization shook him; he was awed. He slowly raised his head and brought his eyes to meet Kyou's.

There it was, a moment, when their eyes met. It was such a serious and important moment for the two of them.

Yuki's eyes held this burning warmth that was so true, something Kyou had never seen in those violet eyes. Yuki was open completely and that little bit of hope that Kyou had seen was now spread through him, in his veins like liquid sunshine. And he was waiting.

He was waiting to do something, and he wouldn't do it until Kyou was ready. Just as he wouldn't let the smile in his eyes grace his face yet. That warmth that Yuki wouldn't let himself feel completely was prolonging the time it would take before they could assure each other and have physical contact.

And how did Kyou feel? How did he look?

Kyou was visibly relieved that Yuki was looking better now that he had been able to forgive. He also knew better than he should have that something bigger was coming, a challenge that he didn't know if he could face and a conclusion that he was unsure of. So he couldn't let his guard down. He had to stay impassive; had to! Otherwise he would just rise up to be let down again . . . painfully.

In was good that in the blinding orange sunlight it was difficult for them to see each other's faces. Yuki would have been heartbroken at Kyou's lack of emotion and Kyou might not have been able to hold his impassive mask if he could see Yuki's raw emotion that clearly.

"So," Kyou trudged slowly forward, "What is the second thing?"

"May I have one last chance?"

"For what?" It wasn't sarcastic or caustic or accusatory, just a pure question for the sake of better understanding.

"To prove . . ."

And, for once, Yuki didn't think before he spoke, but let the words come from his heart.

"…that I love you…

"…that I can be your friend . . .

"…that you can trust me again."

Tears were falling from Yuki's eyes from the honesty of what he was saying.

Kyou spoke, "I didn't want . . ."

"I know . . . You have to know, just now, I didn't mean _that_, I meant **real** love."

It had been so much more than Yuki had thought it would be, than 15 minutes ago he had _understood_ it to be.

Kyou started again, "And if I . . ."

"If you don't feel the same way . . . I'll understand."

And there were more questions that would come up, but those could wait.

"Okay." And it wasn't quite a blessing or a curse. It was an opportunity, for something good. It afforded a small lopsided smile on Kyou's face.

He was trying so hard, because, that, 'Okay.' hadn't meant 'everything is going to be alright.' It meant, 'rough times are coming.' It was now Kyou who looked like he needed a hug.

Yuki was more that willing to oblige. + 

"Yuki, why am I wearing this?"

"Well you see… I was kind of daydreaming during council meeting and I happened to mutter your name . . . and you see they thought I was talking about the culture festival."

A vein pulsed on Kyou's forehead.

"If I see any damn pictures of me in this stupid dress I will kill you, and I don't mean with my bare hands. Poison, explosives, Jason, whatever it takes."

"I promise Kyou. I won't let you see any pictures," Yuki said between snickering.

"Kyou you should really see it, you look even cuter than Yuki did last year." Tohru beamed at him.

"Really Kyon, you could make a living of it, you're stunning," Uo added.

"One of the best cross dressers I've seen," said Haru.

Momiji eyed Kyou as well. "I dunno . . . for my money Ritsu's still the best."

"How much longer do I have to wear this damn thing?"

A camera flash illuminated Kyou.

"Just long enough for me to get a shot of it."

Hatori, Ayame, and Shigure appeared, fussing over the Polaroid Hatori had just taken.

"Oh Ha'ri, it's perfect. I think you've really captured Kyou's feminine beauty. Won't it look perfect next to Yuki's picture?"

"You know, if you boys really like these dresses so much why don't you come by my shop and get fitted for something tailor-made?"

"NO!"

"HELL NO!" + 

End Chapter Eight

1 How many times have I used this?

2 Heh, It seems Yuki totally lacks the qualities his fan club idolizes him for.

So umm yeah, that's how things go, three more chapters and an epilogue left to this story.

**Now my fans . . . my fic,** which steals my soul has been archived at the site www.kyouke.transf4ction$0net (which is a great site for everyone who loves Kyou, the 4 is really an A and the 0 is a dot, doen't want me to advertize for other sites within the story) anyone who frequents this site know that the fics there are mostly canon(can happen in or after the story without altering the author's original plot) and there my fic was edited to include 'The Bet" (I know blasphemy for me, right). Anyway my original intention for the story was to be canon so I need the fans' input. I have come to accept the fact that there is pretty conclusive evidence that Akito is a female. I can very easily edit the previous chapters to make Akito female (she could have raped Kyou with a false phallus, in his state of inebriation he wouldn't have known the difference) I feel no need to include 'The Bet' except that Kyou would ask Akito for a year to search for the cure after graduation before being 'caged.' However for future chapters I will need to decide on a gender for Akito. This is very important to the story (sorry, trying hard not to spoil). So I need you to help me make several decisions:

**_1. First should the story be:_**

a. Manga canon. to include all those nasty bits like 'The Bet' and whatever come up in the future.

b. Anime canon. to include Yuki going after Kyou during his transformation (yay!) and pretty much give me artistic license for what comes after.

or c. Alternate Universe. meaning I get to do whatever the hell I want with it.

2. Should Akito be;

a. female

b. shemale

c. male

d. transgendered (post-op)

(please consider the the value of properly functioning reproductive parts)

Now if anyone has any comments feel free to voice them now.

I love you all

Till next time,

Angelicattie

Editor's Note: Am I allowed to have one of these? -ponders- Well, this is just about the gender of Akito confusion; keep in mind that, while editing this chapter, Angelica and I went back and forth over this issue. For the sake of older chapters and chapters to come Akito is portrayed in Chapter Eight as a male, but the future of the story will be affected by the decision given by the outcome of the votes in your reviews, so please review with your ideas! Once again please keep in mind the value of properly functioning reproductive parts, per Angelica's request. :) And thanks so much for the dedication, Ange. This chapter was actually kind of fun to edit, after all the gender changes. XD I got to read it first as well!  
-feels overwhelmingly special-

See, OMG don't you love my beta, she's soo cute and thoughtful! beams


	10. Chapter 9 First Date

Kyou and Yuki are in Kyou's room. They're supposed to be making plans for the trip, Kyou's finally bought the train and airline tickets and had booked hotel rooms. Yuki is supposed to be looking over all their research and trying to draw some conclusions, but Kyou was just being

too distracting for him to keep his mind on the work. It's been two weeks since that fateful morning. It had been such a beautiful morning.

Actually tomorrow would be two weeks since that fateful morning, today was two weeks and two days since Yuki had kissed Kyou. And damned if he hadn't thought about taking another one. Luckily he had been too occupied to thing about that very often.

After "that moment" that morning on the back porch (how else could you describe it? Words just don't do it justice.) Yuki had taken Kyou into his arms, pressing soft kisses against Kyou's sweet sebum scented hair. He tried to soothe away Kyou's tears as the weight shifted into his, the two bodies becoming one mass. It was really a perfect little expression of their affection for one another, too bad Shigure ruined it.

"Con-grat-u-la-tions!" a loud singsong voice bellowed from inside the house. Shigure stepped out on the porch with the most bemused expression on his face and then released party crackers all over the two boys. He instantly went into a tirade about how he always knew such things would happen between the two of them and how proud he was that Kyou and Yuki were following in his and Aya's footsteps. However, all of Shigure's fanfare had been effectively quieted by Tohru's entrance. Tohru stumbled in silently, her eyes slightly downcast. She met the boys' eyes, her head still inclined down as if she were ashamed of something. Slowly a smile bloomed on her face, 'congratulations," she said, and dropped to her knees as she pulled both of them into a firm, just shy of suffocating, hug. Sometimes Tohru was more than an angel, you know. It was one of the most awkward moments imaginable. Yuki was torn between staying with Kyou and Tohru or righteously punching Shigure's lights out. Thankfully Kyou did both, returning Tohru's hug and whispering to her,"Thank you so much," before abruptly standing up, marching over to Shigure and punching him in the jaw.

"Yuki, I'll be in my room." Kyou turned back to smile at Yuki before entering the house.

Yuki could have died a happy man, the whole thing was amazing, Kyou's smile was amazing, for the rest of his life, nothing would need to matter but Kyou.

Each day had been like that for Yuki, Kyou surprising him by finding a new way to be more beautiful, or more handsome, or more charming each time Yuki thought he had figured out who Kyou was. Right now Kyou was on his stomach, supporting himself with his elbows looking over an accounting book biting his lips and scratching his head as he was trying to figure out how to stretch the money he would earn by graduation to cover the cost of this mission. It was so impressive to see him so motivated in a new way, now Yuki could see that flame burning in Kyou's eyes that he thought had been lost. Yuki was really hoping that this would work out between the two of them, that he would never have to live without seeing that fire each day.

Two weeks, their relationship had lasted (_Wow . . . Kyou and I have a relationship _) two weeks of Yuki loving Kyou more each day, of Kyou becoming more and more lovable each day. Kyou was giving Yuki far more than he had ever asked for, he was soo blessed, he had to do something in return.

Yuki had already had an idea about a special something, although he might need to bend the rules a smidge to do it. Besides, how would he get anywhere with Kyou if he didn't use a little force.

&

I wanted to keep it a secret, at least for a little while, I know the dumb dog has probably already run off and told the whole family. It can't be helped, it's almost New Year's anyway so I'll confront Akito about it then. I don't want Tohru to be alone this year, so I'm going to ask Yuki to stay home with her this time.

AH! Dammit, I don't know much about anything anymore. It's all going way too fast. All of a sudden Yuki and I are a "couple" and it doesn't make any sense. It's supposed to be a "Yuki loves me" -thing not a "Kyou and Yuki are in love" -thing, and no one has changed the terms of the deal or anything it just ended up with everyone thinking this way. First Shigure saw us and he assumed, then Tohru saw us and I don't know what she thinks; and once Hanajima saw it it was out there and everyone knew.

Before we left for school that morning (after Yuki apologized) I told him that I wanted things to be just between us for now, he agreed. We walked to school together as usual and everything was fine, until the end of homeroom. Yuki turned in his seat to look at me and he smiled (weird,huh) and like an idiot I smiled back (double weird). How could I resist? It was one of those real smiles, his face lit up and his eyes shone and his expression scrunched up all cute-like; you know that special smile that's saved for only me and Tohru. It's infectious.

Of course Hana saw it (she sees everything, she's like a fucking oracle or something) even at the moment I could feel the waves of her energy pushing at mine. Once you've felt that you know what denpa is for sure. It's like this creepy ticklish feeling that you don't notice at first and then it gets stronger and stronger until it overwhelms you. There's no fighting it, you know she's way stronger than you could ever be and if she wanted to she could turn you into a vegetable at any moment. So you don't fight, you endure and it passes. I first felt that when we went to visit Honda-sama's grave last year, she scared me so bad, I felt her absolute control over me. I was afraid of what she might know from looking at me or feeling me in that way, what she would accept, what would disgust her, what she would tell Tohru. But this time when Hana's energy left me I wasn't scared, I could feel this feedback of her energy and she was happy for me. It was this warm buzz that made me feel so . . . I dunno , um . . . tingly, bubbly inside that it made me want to grin and sob at the same time.

Then at lunch.

"Ha ha, Hey Kyon" Uo punched me in the shoulder, " I had no idea. You should have told us, we coulda helped set you two up. Really, we should have seen it, eh Hana, I guess denpa is a bit quicker that my intuition though. Oh! Hey Kyon if you ever need any tips on how to please a man, don't hesitate to ask O.K." she finished with a wink.

"Stupid Yankee, I bet you've never even shared a bed with a man, much less pleasured one." I knew it was a stupid thing to say the minute it came out of my mouth.

"Oh and _you_ have?" She teased at me, raising her eyebrows. She got me there, My ears were red, I was furious, there was no escape, I'd dug myself into hole.

"I'll have you know he's done neither, and I'd thank you not to assume such lascivious things about my cousin."

You should have seen my face when he said that. I'm sure my eyes had glistened, my savior had come.

"He's saving himself for marriage" Asshole, I should have punched him and Uo.

&

"Kyou?

"There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you.

"I wanted to give you something."

They stood underneath an arbor in this quiet garden, surrounded by trees and the scent of spring blossoms.

Yuki gently took a hold of Kyou's arms.

"It's a present."

Yuki looked coyly through his eyelashes at Kyou, before hastily moving so close that their noses were touching. It made Kyou uneasy.

_What is he doing?_

Then before he could see it he felt it. Yuki's cool lips on his. Kyou's stomach flipped and didn't turn back, he felt as though he was going to vomit up his own heart. And then it didn't end, the huge monster had captured him in the kiss, the gentle clasp of hands on his upper arms had become manacles. Just as unwanted and far more frightening than the first time, the lips stayed in place, stifling any call for help. Then the tongue slid into his mouth, unwanted, stealing something from within, tainting him with something foreign. He tried to fight it, push it out, but nothing would end it until the monster was through with him.

When it finally released him he jerked away and ran, he looked back and the monster just stared out at him with a cruel grin. Kyou ran through the garden, lost in a maze until he saw her.

Who was she, her face was hard to make out, she stood like Kyoko san, but she had brown hair like Tohru's. She reached out her arms to take Kyou into them, he gladly embraced her, clutching the fabric of her clothing tightly so she wouldn't disappear. The arms folded around him, but she wasn't holding him or comforting him.

"I love you Kyou. I love you so much."

It said it quietly, once every few seconds, an infinite loop. It took him another moment to realize she was cold. He looked up into the face of this creature that was his refuge, it was his mother's face.

"SHISHOU! SHISHOU! OTO-SANNN!!!"

Kyou's eyes flashed open in the dark room, all of a sudden his room had become an unfamiliar place with a million dark corners for a dead body to be stashed.

He cautiously stepped out into the moonlight hallway.

As he sat there catching his breath, the thing that upset him the most was knowing that he couldn't give the gift of a kiss to commemorate the two weeks he and Yuki had been together.

He knew that Yuki had been planning something special for the two of them that was supposed to be a surprise, and that Tohru and Shigure had planned to be out of the house. It was something he was really looking forward to, and it really made him feel important to have someone go to so much trouble for him.

Yuki had really become someone different, yes someone that was never ignored, but also someone who had something on the inside. Despite the girlish prim exterior a solid real person inside, someone with a sense of humor, who gets embarrassed, who has quirks, who has strengths and weaknesses and is no longer afraid to let people see them. Seeing Yuki this way, he can almost accept Yuki as the kind of person he could fall in love with.

Which is why he wanted to be able to kiss Yuki tomorrow, to show Yuki that maybe soon he could love Yuki as much as Yuki loved him, but after that dream, it was impossible.

&

Yuki woke to the sounds of bluebirds singing in the trees outside his window. He yawned, sitting up as he stretched, his blankets falling away from him. he cast open the window and began singing.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep . . ."

It was about where the birds began unbraiding his hair and he took off his nightgown that he realized he wasn't awake and this was Cinderella.

However, when Yuki did wake up his morning was comparably Ghibli-esque if not quite Disney. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, it was unusually pleasant for December and Yuki woke up the most peacefully he had in a long while. The comforting sounds and smells of breakfast cooking wafted up to his bedroom. He dressed and went down to the kitchen.

Kyou was by the stove, stirring miso soup, still in his running pants and shirt from his morning exercises. Kyou's hair was damp and sticking to his neck, he absently scratched his stomach while stirring.

"Good morning Kyou."

Kyou jumped.

It was so cute how Kyou surprised so easily.

"Oh! . . . Oh there you are Yuki."

_Well where else would I be?_ Yuki giggled

"Shigure and Tohru left already, the Dog left a note." Kyou gestured to the fridge and continued stirring.

_Dear __Boys__Lovers__ Resident Soul mates,_

_The flower and I have decided to go out to breakfast. A new authentic french Provençal restaurant has opened up near Aya's shop. How romantic, oui? Aya's meeting us there, we'll be good so don't worry. Please do control yourselves, try to keep out of my study and Tohru's room. We'll see you tomorrow, don't do anything we wouldn't do._

_Love,_

_Shigure_

_P.S. Tohru says take care and have a good time._

_P.P.S . There's a present for you guys under the kotatsu_.

"Ouch." Kyou had poked Yuki hard in the stomach.

"Stop sneaking up on me." Kyou flashed him a half hearted scowl.

_P.P.P.S Happy Two -Week Anniversary!!! _

_Love,_

_Shigure and Tohru _

"I haven't opened the gift from Shigure yet," Kyou was now pouring the soup and natto into bowls,"I'm not sure that I want to, what does he think we're going to be doing? ' . . .keep out of my study.'''

Yuki interrupted Kyou's preparations, coming up very close to Kyou and taking his right hand. He pulled Kyou into him so that Kyou's back was tucked into his chest.

"You made breakfast,"

"Yeah . . . well, no one else was going . . .'

He let go of Kyou's hand and took it into his left spinning Kyou to face him as his right hand slid into the small of Kyou's back.

"Thank you."

Yuki looked into Kyou eyes, then released him and walked out into the dining room.

_Pause_

_Yeah, Still Pause_

_I hope I can move again sometime _

_O.K. Finally unpaused._

_Breathe_

_Relax, Keep Breathing._

_How does he do that?_

_How does he know how to do that? _

_How can he be so charming that he takes my breathe away?!_

Kyou managed to keep breathing and finish breakfast.

&

Yuki and Kyou had settled down to eat breakfast in a comfortable silence, they exchange glances while they ate, unable to resist smiling.

"I have a surprise." Yuki started . . .

And was abruptly interrupted by a banging at the door.

The most perturbed look appeared on Yuki's face as he rose to get the door. Kyou turned in his seat to watch Yuki leave.

Hiro stood on the porch. Yuki opened to door to a wet, puffy faced, red-eyed little cousin.

"Kisa hates me." It came out a snarl as to keep from crying. "She'll never love me, she wants Haru."

Hiro stomped his way into the dining room and plopped down at the table, Yuki following him.

"Fix it so it doesn't feel like I'm going to die."

Then Hiro cracked, a slight sob that was more like a hiccup came out of him and all of a sudden tears were streaming down his face, mucus ran from his nose, and he hid his face in his arms from embarrassment.

Yuki and Kyou looked at each other hoping the other had a solution to this situation. When it became obvious that they were both clueless Yuki ran to get a box of Kleenex and Kyou ran to get a cup of water. Soon they both returned trying to coax Hiro into raising his head offering their meager aid. Yuki carefully patted at Hiro's head while Kyou tried to make eye contact with the distraught boy.

Hiro raised his head, shielding his face behind his hair as he wiped his face with his sleeves.

"You guys really suck at this." Hiro inhaled shakily. "I mean you'd think that people older than you and in a relationship would know how to comfort someone. I don't know why I came to you guys anyway. Aren't you at least going to offer me sweets like Tohru does. I would think that two guys would know better how to show some hospitality than one dumb girl."

this kid is such a pain in the ass Kyou decided.

"You're right Hiro, were not nearly as hospitable as Tohru, so why don't you GO HOME and come back some other time." Yuki offered, giving Hiro the _why don't you just go off yourself _ smile that was usually reserved for his big brother alone.

"Yeah, we don't need your litlle kid tears raining on our parade so just go home and cry at Hatori or something, you brat." Kyou added.

A frightening scowl appeared on Hiro's face, angrily glaring at his two unfeeling cousins before he dissolved into tears and sobs.

" She . . . hates me, she never wants me around anymore. . . . She won't even smile for me anymore.

"she only ever spends time with Haru anymore . . . ever since I gave her that stupid ring . . .

"Tohru was wrong, even if I do become a prince . . . it'll never be good enough, it'll never be what she needs."

Yuki sighed. He wasn't cold enough anymore that he'd be able to ignore Hiro's anguish, even if the kid was a brat.

"What happened Hiro?"

Hiro sniffed and looked up at Yuki, scowling.

"What, do I have to tell you everything? Just because a kid comes to an older person for help they have to give up information? I come to you with confidence, thinking I can trust you, and I immediately have to make an exchange for the comfort I sought here. What kind of caring adult are you?"

"Yes, you do have to tell us," Yuki grasped Hiro's shoulders and turned him to face the cat, "And Kyou will be happy to listen."

Kyou just gaped at Yuki as he watched him leave the room.


	11. Chapter 9B First Date con't

A/N: This will be appended to chapter 9 when it is complete, as i did with parts "B" through "D" of chapter 6.

Akito was still smiling, but unhappy.

"Kagura."

Her head was bent before her god.

"Kagura!" Akito intoned his voice with a snap that made Kagura flinch and raise her head to him.

"My boar my lovely, headstrong, little boar," He poured the words from his lips as the sweetest cream while he took her chin in his hand and stroked her hair back from her face.

"I have been lenient with you, have I not?"

She just stared at him with wide eyes.

"Anything you have wanted I have given,"

Akito drew his hand along her jaw toward her ear, as the hand that stroked her hair settled on the nape of her neck, with a loving forcefulness he turned her head to speak into her ear.

"I turned a blind eye to your obsession with my monster."

Kagura shook.

"I have felt him pulling and tugging at his leash, I have felt his and Yuki's concurrent suffering and happiness. I want you to tell me what he is planning, why he is defying **me**."

"Akito-sama, I . . ."

Akito grasped the hair at the back of her skull and yanked, bending her neck back, forcing her back to arch and her bended knees to splay.

"Before you speak, know that I have felt you tugging too Kagura, do not lie to me. For that defiance punishment will be served, but for further disobedience punishment will be enacted elsewhere."

Kagura gasped and breathed hard, tight, little breaths.

"Yes, Akito-sama, I will not disobey again."

Kagura pulled her knees to her chest curling in on herself. She felt chilled and numb, she squinted, opening her eyes to a sea of silk. She looked up to see Akito, her head was resting in his lap and he was stroking her hair. Her body tensed; her mind was filled with fog and her head felt too heavy to think about lifting it.

"Thank you for taking this so well Kagura." Akito's voice was silky sweet again, "I am so glad you decided to warn me of Kyou's betrayal. Everything will be all right now." He smiled.

"I want you to go with him and keep taking care of my monster, you are the only one I would trust with this task. When he gets too close to breaking away from the family's love and protection, I want you to catch him close," Akito held her gaze as he pressed something into her hands, closing her trembling fingers around it, "Remind him of our love for him and his unfulfilled obligation.

"Now go home, Hatori has a message for you to give to Rin."

Kagura rose to her feet slowly and left. As she stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her it dawned on her that she had lost something.

Rin walked as quickly as she could, it was cold. She hated December. The coat she wore was voluminous, a fake leopard fur, but it was short. The coat left the expanse of thigh between her boot tops and miniskirt exposed to the elements. She wished she had a cigarette, it would constrict her capillaries and make her hands feel colder, but the stimulant would make her feel better about the walk. With a cigarette in her hand she could pretend she was some starlet, uncaring and walking blissfully into nihility, devil-may-care. With only her costume and no prop she was painfully aware that this walk was not her choice and she ws being manipulated by Hatori and maybe indirectly by Akito.

It was so chilly, the sky had darkened overhead and the winds had risen since that morning. Rin looked to the sky above, overcast, and once more lamented the absence of that cigarette. She began to imagine the feel of nicotine in her lungs and the taste of tobacco in her mouth and nose and it reminded her of Haru.

Haru had stopped smoking long before Rin had ever started "quitting" but if Haru had been standing there with her, she would have already been inhaling that sweet drug. Before leaving home she would have a stick tucked behind her ear, slipped between her bosoms, or rolled into her skirt's close waistband. She always kept one with her if she knew she would be around Haru. In the beginning she carried it as a prop, because she needed something to do to hide her nervousness around the boy who excited her so. It became a habit later on, when they had difficultly speaking and feared the things pulling them apart, it was a comfortable ritual that they could retreat to. She would raise the white tube to her lips from it's hiding place and glance at him shyly with the ghost of a smile around the cig; before she had to ask Haru would give a rehearsed sigh of defeat and light it for her. He would let her inhale a few times before asking her how the "quitting" was going or commend the redeeming fact that she always chose additive free tobacco. Then he would grasp her around the waist and say,

"Give me one more taste of my addiction."

Her cigarette would be lowered and her mouth open in surprise, ready for the tender kiss Haru would deliver.

A door creaked open. Was she there already?

"Rin!"

Yuki stood at the open door, but the noise had come from farther within the house. Hiro had run to greet her, it was amazing the level of regard he held for her when anyone else was treated like a pebble in his oxford.

Hiro stared at her a moment, before hugging her around the middle, Rin too would not have accepted such treatment from anyone else.

"It's Kisa." He whispered.

"I know, it's all right, Haru told me. She's not mad and I'll take you to see them."

"Haru." Hiro growled the name.

"Haru." Rin conceded wistfully.

The indulgent smile that graced her face slipped away as she raised her head to meet Yuki's gaze, Kyou had come to the door as well.

"Thank you, we'll be going." Rin's voice was cool water.

She nodded goodbye to them and Hiro gave his own thank you. Rin noticed how close the boys stood to one another and how the hands that fell to their sides brushed together in a way that was too tentative to not be intimate. She pointedly stared at the moment of contact.

"Be careful there. Those who know better are less likely to be forgiven."

The silence that came after Rin and Hiro left was awkward and uncomfortable. So Yuki turned to Kyou, lilac irises meeting rose and wrapped his ams around the Cat. On the inside when he felt Yuki's arms enfold him, Kyou cringed and nearly panicked. Kyou was afraid, afraid of his dream, and afraid of the warning Rin had delivered.

Rin and Hiro began the long walk back to the compound together.

She says, "You really don't have to pretend around me you know."

Something in those words was a resonate wave to Hiro's soul .

"You don't have to pretend, because I'm the same, I love him and I love him the way you do."

And there was the ugliness of it. Love and she knew what kind, Love with a capital "L" that implied more than a cousin should love his cousin. A desire that should not exist between a man and the man who was competing for his soulmate. Rin should not have felt those things she was implying for Hatsuharu and Hiro even less so.

"A person so immature and foolish as yourself could never know what love is."

Rin's expression turned hard, she stopped and embraced Hiro tightly, kissing the top of his head.

"I know enough to know that it hurts."

"If this pain is love then I don't want to believe in it." Hiro whispered into the confidence between them.

A/N: The part that really has me stuck about this is what would Yuki plan for a date? I plan for an activity where they can compete and then a romantic dinner, and a moonlit stargazing moment to end the evening. The details are fuzzy, inspiration has been a harsh mistress for this story.


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